Review of Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990) by Johnny T — 02 Jul 2012

Dull, derivative horror anthology. A collegiate nerd (Steve Buscemi) gets his revenge against a preppy tormentor (Christian Slater), using an ancient incantation that brings a murderous mummy to life. A pharmaceutical magnate (William Hickey) hires a mob hit man (David Johansen) to rid his mansion of the killer feline that has already claimed three victims. An artist (James Remar) pays a deadly price for breaking his romantic promise to his wife (Rae Dawn Chong). Even with the explicit language and graphic gore available four decades later, these new horror tales have none of the visceral emotional impact of those ancient ghost stories. But director John Harrison, a longtime associate of Romero's making his feature debut after working on the "Darkside" series, betrays little understanding of either cinematic suspense or horror. Instead, DARKSIDE is overrun with flashy camerawork and film noir stylistic flourishes that pad, rather than propel, the already weak stories offered.

VERDICT: "Not So Hot" - [Negative Reaction] These films are truly terrible films. They are not the worst things ever made, but they are definitely awful and should not be seen by anyone. (Films that are rated 1.5 or 2 stars).