Review of Sweet Land (2005) by V H — 04 Dec 2006

[i]Sweet Land[/i] begins when this guy named Lars' grandmother Inge dies and he has to decide whether or not to sell the family farm in Minnesota. This leads him to flash back to the 60s when Inge's husband Olaf died. Then from within [i]his[/i] flashback, Inge flashes back to 1920 when she first met Olaf. Don't worry, it gets easier after this.

Inge is a mail-order bride from Germany when she arrives in Minnesota by train to marry Olaf. Germans weren't too popular in the U.S. in 1920 because we'd just finished fighting against them in World War I, though the war didn't actually have a Roman numeral appended on the end back then. Like the first [i]Rocky [/i]movie, we optimistically hoped it'd be the only one. Fortunately, unlike [i]Rocky[/i], there's only been one official sequel so far.

Inge is greeted at the train station by the handsome but brooding Olaf and his best friend Frandsen, a smiley guy who looks sort of like a goth Pee-Wee Herman with an extra-long chunk of straight black hair on one side of his head that he combs so that it regularly falls over one eye. They head straight to the church to get married, but when the minister discovers that Inge is German, speaks no English, and has no immigration papers, he refuses to perform the ceremony. There's no explanation as to how Inge was able to get into the country without papers but you could bet that this never would've happened if Michael Chertoff had anything to say about it.

While Inge and Olaf are trying to sort out their marriage problem, Inge goes to live with Frandsen, his wife Brownie, and their nine children. The whole family appears to all sleep in the same bed, alternating heads and feet on the pillows. They all line up on bath night to bathe in the same tub of water set out in the middle of a room. Inge can't stand all of this togetherness for very long and one night she sneaks off to Olaf's house. He's furious at first -- what will the neighbors think? -- but finally agrees to let her stay. She sleeps in his bed and he spends each night sleeping in the barn.

One morning, the minister shows up and discovers that Inge is in Olaf's kitchen and that she's made him a pot of coffee. Even though Olaf insists that it's all on the up and up, the minister is having none of it. Not only should Inge not be there, but her coffee is way too black.

Another time, the minister catches Inge on the porch attempting to teach Olaf how to waltz. Not even their hands are touching -- Inge is just showing him the steps -- but the minister has a fit. No dancing allowed! This scene kind of reminded me of that movie [i]Footloose [/i]where that guy from [i]3rd Rock from the Sun[/i] bans all dancing and rock music until good old Kevin Bacon moves to town and saves the day. This movie could've really used an appearance by Kevin Bacon.

So anyway, then the minister kicks Inge and Olaf out of church on Sunday, which makes the whole town turn against them. But then after Olaf stands up for Frandsen when his farm is about to be repossessed, everyone starts liking him again and then they do this whole [i]It's a Wonderful Life Thing[/i] where they all pitch in to help him out so that his [i]own[/i] farm won't be repossessed.

This movie is sort of weak on plot and heavy on cinematography. Lots of scenes of clouds and cornfields as far as the eye can see, accompanied by an overbearing soundtrack which keeps welling up every few minutes to let you know that you're supposed to be awed by the majesty of it all. Cornfields are nice enough to look at I suppose, but if I wanted to look at beautiful scenery, I'd go build myself a jigsaw puzzle.

(Where did [i]that[/i] come from?).

I saw this film a week ago and I honestly can't remember if I was planning on giving it a weak recommendation or a hearty "nice try" and a pat on the back. I guess I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and give it a 6. It's the sort of movie I'd feel comfortable recommending to someone's mother. Not mine necessarily, but definitely someone's.