Review of Swamp Thing (1982) by David B — 13 Aug 2010
The movie starts out with promise; but when Dr. Holland turns into Swamp Thing the movie becomes routine and unexciting; still, don't turn it off because when Swamp Thing is caught by Arcane, the movie goes totally fucking, insanely nuts! As an instance of the insanity, check this out: at the beginning of the movie the science potion is (presumably) supposed to have turned Dr.
Holland into Swamp Thing because it is some kind of plant-animal hybridizing juice (or whatever), but at the end we're told that the formula really just makes manifest a person's "essence"--meaning, I suppose, that in his essence Dr.
Holland is after all some kind of pathetic shrub. In any case, the baddie takes the formula and turns into a humanoid reptile with a nasty pig-like head (because, you see, his essence is evil, and pigs and reptiles are evil.
) Swamp Thing and Pig-Reptile do battle, in the course of which the latter stabs his sword into one of Adrienne Barbeau's (large) boobs. Lucky for her, Swamp Thing picks some weeds off his chest, cups her (large) boob with his hand, and--through veggie healing power--restores her boob to its former (large) glory.
Huzzah!
This review of Swamp Thing (1982) was written by David B on 13 Aug 2010.
Swamp Thing has generally received mixed reviews.
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