Review of Swamp Thing (1982) by Lee B — 13 Nov 2010

In most ways, this cult flick by Wes Craven doesn't deserve a favorable rating, and the qualities that tip the scales are based less on the merits of the film and more on the undeniable power of nostalgia. Thanks to the way my brain has been tempered and calibrated by years of cinema, the camp factor of a poorly funded watered down horror/sci-fi hybrid from the early 80's is intensified.

I vaguely remember seeing this as a kid, and I often got it mixed up with that other, even more intentionally campy version with Heather Locklier that proceeded it. My first impression of Wes Craven's foray was "Holy crap, its Ray Wise AKA Leland Palmer; Laura Palmer's dad in twin peaks playing Doctor Alec Holland! Nice!" Alright so the film gets watchable by association, but its difficult to invest in the films heroin Alice Cable, played by Adrienne Barbeau, who was apparently the sexiest candidate Wes could land as Holland's love interest.(I know, beauty is in the eye of the beholder... maybe she would look better with a different hairstyle then the one she always had.).

I digressed... Ray is only in the film long enough to make us care about Dr. Holland and his noble effort to create a cure for all diseases and ailments by creating a perfect specimen of plant complete with regenerative capability. Enter the sadistic and well funded mastermind who intends to exploit the scientists work: Dr. Anton Arcane played by guy-who-everyone-has-seen-in-a-movie-at-some-point-or-another, Louis Jourdan. I could go on about the comical effect of Craven's subdued audio techniques reducing Jourdan's dialogue into long winded and frequently indecipherable ramblings as he constantly justifies his evil activity to his clueless minions.

After Dr. Arcane (where can I get a last name like that?) invades Hollands laboratory tucked into what appears to be the Louisiana swamps and provokes the disaster that would explosively fuse Holland with his own experiment, Holland later emerges as the Swamp Thing. He's got to rescue Alice Cable from Anton's hired thuggery, seeing as this inexplicably bad ass electrical engineer (or whatever) has escaped into the sopping landscape with the second of two notebooks containing his world changing formulas. Most of this film is the infinitely severe looking Adrienne Barbeau running from highly predictable "Gotcha" scenarios that conclude with an unusually intelligent plant creature thwarting the bad guys.

Let's talk about latex. Let's talk about some of the worst latex makeup I've seen in a while. In contrast to some decent low budget cinematography, Wes Craven's creature is a lame attempt at recreating what a man would look like if his DNA was fused with an aggressive plant. Could we have at least tried to make those sparse, bumpy veins look like authentic fauna? Could we not have super glued Lilacs all over the damn guy cause that would have helped! We're talking a simple one layer mold that Ed Wood might have been suspicious of.

Well this is exactly why I kind of liked the film; sometimes I enjoy not being required to appreciate something, as long as it doesn't insult my intelligence. Swamp Thing's execution is minimal, its character are all having bad 80's hair days, and the dialogue is speckled with awkwardly placed cliche's. Any thoughtful subtext commenting on the nature of evil verses the nature of nature is an afterthought to what is otherwise a pure B-movie exercise common for that era.

If we are lucky, somebody in film will be inspired by Alan Moore's lengthy run on the DC comic, which was originally released in unison with this very film. Around issue 14 the British writer who would eventually bring us V For Vendetta and Watchmen turned the series into a diamond mine of literature. Guillermo Del Toro, are you listening?

That is all folks. I conclude by saying if you enjoy low budget science fiction that has pickled into camp over the decades, or curious about what Wes Craven was doing before his nightmare hit Elm Street, this is a decent way to spend two lazy hours on a weekend.