Review of Suspiria (2018) by Thunderboltway — 03 Nov 2018

This was a disappointment.

The Good:

-Dakota Johnson's dancing (and acting in first two acts).

-Two imaginative dream sequences.

-The setting.

-Literally backwards cinematography finally hits its stride in second act as it veers into voyeuristic territory, but is consistently an antogonistic character of its own (arc included) which can be interesting (when not distracting and overt) to observe.

-Witchy stuff is generally handled pretty well.

-Entire cast of witches and dancers were expertly chosen.

-Very nice cameo by the original Susie actress.

-Tilda Swinton as Madame Blanc rules.

-Mad decent eroticism.

-Clarifies the connection between dance and witchcraft solidly.

-One scary sequence.

-Absurdities of story / script sometimes played for dark laughs.

-Good job, Thom Yorke.

The Bad:

-Atrocious exposition writing. Expect wooden, forced telling instead of showing. Writing in Act 3 is particularly embarrassing.

-Dakota Johnson's acting in Act 3 (blaming the writer).

-Tilda Swinton cast as major psychologist character extremely distracting and forced (begs for post-processing on her voice, and if Guy Pearce bugged you in Prometheus this will too).

-Tilda Swinton as rubberized Helena Markos recalls the 90's Island of Doctor Moreau disaster.

-Chloe Grace Moretz was thrown under the bus by this production.

-Contains some of the worst dialogue ever committed to film.

-Returns repeatedly to America like we give a f***.

-Unnecessary back stories and side stories take over entire film by the end.

-Tacked on, sophomoric social message grates on nerves like a Rupi Karr poem.

-Tacked on twists ring flat, hollow.

-Makes you feel embarrassed for Thom Yorke - even he can't redeem this climax, but you finally get why he was asked.

-Historical context is blunt, forced, and distracting.

-Symbolism is weak, sophomoric.

-Repeated stench of amateurism.

-Gruesome horror action scenes lack geography, horror, and effects budget necessary.

-Hijacks Argento storyline to desperately tack on another, much worse drama story, alienating core audience ( Imagine if a Gremlins remake turned into Schindler's-List-meets-Munich and you're close ).

Overall: A bold attempt of ambition and a triumph of setting, but a disaster of execution, world-building, and consistency. Strong dancing, setting, scenario, cast, and acting keep you from asking for your money back afterwards in an otherwise bottom-of-the-barrel B-movie on the level of Jupiter Ascending but without the redeeming camp factor.