Review of Suspicious River (2001) by Daniel C — 06 Jan 2011

Suspicious River is kind of an awesome movie, in the way that you feel some measure of awe when you see a truly awful movie. I'm not talking about a movie that is so bad that it becomes campy and funny, but instead about something that plods along pointlessly and has close to zero redeeming qualities. That's the sort of movie that this is.

It's all about a motel receptionist (Parker) in the sleepy town of Suspicious River (how profound!). The town is kind of a Purgatory, where visitors to the motel come and go but the townspeople live perpetually in a gray state of monosyllabic relationships. To help pass the time, our receptionist Leila gives off-screen blowjobs to the men who populate the desolate place for a cool $60. Little do the men know, Leila is the one getting the most out of the bargain because she gets the opportunity to paint herself as some sort of tortured artistic soul in her bland narration.

From what I've read about the film online, we're supposed to interpret Leila's actions as the self-destructive ends of a life full of despair. When more of her backstory is revealed late in the movie, I guess it's supposed to come across as a revelation that helps inform this woman's actions previously, but it actually comes across as little more than a lame twist (and one that was easy to foresee, at that). Instead of a disturbed and poetic person, Leila comes across as just totally obnoxious - perhaps mostly because of Parker's tendency to deliver every single line with a thoughtful pause and a smug smirk. There is a point in the film where a guest at the motel takes advantage of Leila's hospitality, beating her and ultimately raping her. It's not enough to drive any sense of pity for the character; instead she just becomes one of the most obnoxious rape victims in cinema history.

Maybe it really is just Parker who ruins the movie - she was equally grating in her role as the man-hating Sister Rose in The Wicker Man. At least in that movie, her ever present self-satisfaction made some sense, as she was possibly in on some elaborate scheme to drive the audience mad with confusion. Here, it's to no particular end. But then, the other characters - such as Leila's ineffectual husband and her one-dimensional best friend - are little more than shadows who drop into the picture occasionally for no particular reason.

The strongest presence in the film is Callum Keith Rennie, who plays the dashing and dangerous Gary Jensen - the man for whom Leila falls madly in submission to. But having the most commanding performance in Suspicious River is hardly a thing to be proud of; his performance would hardly warrant a mention anywhere else, and when compared to, say, Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet, it almost feels like a joke. The movie wants to be a tense thriller with a philosophical edge to it, but instead ends up as the limp, flailing work of an amateur. It's the kind of movie that helps you understand why there are those who say the phrase independent film with a sneer.

Like the town that the movie takes place in, Suspicious River is colorless and dull and not a place anybody would have any reason to stay.