Review of Suspect Zero (2004) by Moya S — 17 Jul 2005

Unless you are very bored, avoid this movie. If you are up at 3 in the morning and your viewing choices are a) an infomercial about a rotating barbecue, b) The Lord Hates You If You Don?t Conform Club, c) reruns from Season 1 of ?Sister, Sister,? or d) this movie?then by all means, watch it.

Suspect Zero is yet another in the long series of movies in which a killer and a detective are linked by a mysterious force. Yawn. Didn?t we already do this in Millennium? It opens on a demoted FBI detective (Why is he demoted? Who cares?) on his first day back at work. He downs a bunch of aspirin with a well-practiced gesture. Then he gets a mysterious fax that says ?Do you know why your head hurts?? Oooo. Hold me, I?m scared. Our hero is played by the insufferably goofy Aaron Eckhart, who somehow manages to infuse his character with a flatness and a spastic quality simultaneously? at the risk of being politically incorrect, he almost comes across as mentally challenged. That is how bad his acting is. Reminiscent of Cary Elwes in Saw. Opposite him is Ghandi, I mean Ben Kingsley, as the creepy weirdo. Ghandi does a passable job, only spilling over into comedic once or twice in the movie. Then there?s? what? Carrie-Ann Moss? What is she doing in a crap-pile like this? Her refined, glamorous presence is as out of place in this movie as? I don?t know, pick your simile. And pairing her with Aaron Eckhart is just ludicrous. You might as well put her across Bill Pullman, or Paul Giammati. Not.

The best thing about this movie is all the cool art. They got someone to draw some pretty creepy pictures? the scribblies from The Ring meet the sketchbook from Red Dragon meet the drawings from The Mothman Prophecies, with a hint of H.R. Giger thrown in for good measure. The worst thing about this movie is the way they film all the cool art: with the weaving, bobbing ?sealcam? from The Blair Witch Project. It?s obvious the filmmakers were afraid of showing the drawings too closely and revealing too much. This was their huge mistake. Rule #1 in the mystery genre: provide enough clues that your audience could get it if they really try (see The Sixth Sense). The whole fun of watching a mystery is gathering the puzzle pieces and trying to put them together in your mind as you watch. This movie repeatedly jerks your view away from the dark, symbolic images before your eyes can even focus on them, effectively keeping you at arm?s length, disengaged, lost in the Boredom Zone.

There?s much more to criticize in this movie. A meticulous play-by-play would illustrate how truly groan-worthy it is. But you get the idea.