Review of Survival of the Dead (2010) by Camie C — 10 May 2010

I have just enough words to assess this film. Otherwise, I would be speechless.

Watching this film was as painful as when my dad joined the Plain Truth cult in '85 and then promptly cancelled Halloween. I am not kidding. First of all, I felt like I was watching someone else's film, definitely not Romero's. I'm almost certain that too many cooks spoiled this broth. And while I would usually fall on a prop sword for Greg Nicotero, the zombie makeups were awful.

The CGI was not only overused to the point of laziness, it looked even more horrible on HD. You only need to watch the scene with the garden of impaled heads to know what I mean. Did no one on the FX team ever watch "Motel Hell"? And by the way, if Romero was trying to make yet another commentary on racism, I can only hope that the bufoonery of this scene put a stake into any future like attempts. People are not going to watch it and think, Mr. Romero. They are going to watch it and laugh.

Their heads off, if you will.

The Hatfield-McCoy subplot could have brilliantly serviced Romero's message (which I assumed was that even in a world teeming with zombies, the living are their own worst enemies) to greater effect if it hadn't been suffocated under bad dialogue, weak characters (there is absolutely NO ONE to like in this, and maybe that was Romero's point) and a stilted sense of place. Just where was all of this taking place, anyway? Okay, Plum Island, but where in hell is that? Parallel Earth? New Canada? Summerisle? Somewhere on the corner of Civil War reenactment and "Waking Ned Devine," I guess.

And I guess it doesn't matter, anyway. If Plum Island were sitting on the former site of a ballet school in Freiberg, this film would still manage to be worse than "Diary." I'm just so sad.

That said, I'll still zombie-walk (they should never run!) to anything George Romero makes. He will always be my favorite director, and he still kicks ass, even on his worst day.