Review of Superman Returns (2006) by Patriciab. — 28 Jun 2006

I could call my review "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman Returns." While Brandon Routh is an absolute revelation as Superman - the screen lights up when he's on it - the story (was there one? I can't recall) is so flimsy that it can't support the worthwhile religious imagery.

I was so excited to see what they would do with the notion of "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman"... the idea that the world doesn't need a savior. The movie doesn't really show us what this means - we don't get to see with our own eyes how Lois might have come to this conclusion, except as a girl nursing a broken heart.

There's a larger picture here - one I would like to have seen. And, with the exception of a few lines referring to how the world DOES need a savior, SUPERMAN RETURNS doesn't show us why Lois's mind is changed by the end of the film.

Do we ever actually get to see real people in real crisis? There's a silly bank robbery scene that serves the purpose of showing off Superman's ability to repel bullets, and the ill-conceived robbery of the Museum of Natural History.

.. but none of the scenes of folks "in danger" (mostly shown in a montage) really connect us with the notion of needing/ wanting/ or rejecting a savior. For all the Christ poses and references to events like Christ's resurrection, the writers really didn't seem to be involved in linking the images to an actual narrative.

The pacing drags because the director seems to be so in love with his effects that he luxuriates in them. We see the same thing (the land formations Lex has conjured) over and over again - we get it! What's more, who cares? We need to see people we care about in danger, not just hear that "billions" will die.

And finally - as for the scene in which Lois is on Lex's yacht - again, "in danger" - this is one of the most limp sequences I've seen in a superhero film. It drags. As for casting - poor Kate Bosworth.

She's gone without eating all these years... and for what? So she can co-star in a disappointing big budget extravaganza and be criticized as one of the weakest links (which she was)? So, given that she looks 20, 21.

.. are we to assume she was a teenage mother? Babies having babies. Tsk. Tsk. Shame on you, Superman. Seems like what you did is illegal in most states. Next time, cast a woman - not a girl who has the body of a pre-adolescent boy - to play Lois Lane.

Someone who is worthy of Brandon Routh's gaze. While the effects guys earned their paychecks here, the screenwriters did not - there's no story to support the $200 million plus effects extravaganza that is Superman Returns.

It's a shame Superman isn't real. Maybe he could have saved this picture.