Review of Super 8 (2011) by Mcparadigm — 16 Jun 2011

Oh, man. Where do I start?

The kids were well written and excellently acted, but the adults were waaaay too stupid to even make for a reasonable backdrop. There's not a moment in the film where they aren't embarrassing themselves. The military is trying to contain the most incredible and dangerous secret in history, something that would change civilization as we know it. They have an ALIEN. So putting it on an unprotected train makes a lot of sense. And they know that the only thing this creature wants is to get these little devices that they found with it so it can go home, so natch they've opted to put the devices on the same train. This pickup shows up and runs head first into the train...and the driver is mildly wounded. Wow. But hey...good for him I guess. He only lives long enough to be lazily killed off in a later scene without ever mattering in between, but okay.

The residents of this small town are mildly interested at best (not pooping with excitement, which is what small town people do anytime ANYTHING happens) about this train crash. Suddenly, every dog disappears, thousands of devices vanish, power is fluctuating, and then PEOPLE are disappearing...but it's sort of treated as an irritant. We get incredible lines like "What about my microwaves," instead of the correct line, which is "OH NO AM I NEXT?!" Nobody seems to be really all that worried, just kind of frustrated by the inconvenience.

At this point, the army decides to step up operation "Supersecret" by pissing off local cops, driving huge convoys through town on a daily basis, letting little kids film their every move, and ultimately starting a huge fire as an excuse to relocate the entire town. Because its not like people are going to add one and one together and start asking questions (don't worry, friend, they don't!). They'll disappear anybody who knows anything at all....but having the aforementioned camera pointed at their operation for pretty much the ENTIRE TIME they're looking for the alien is not concerning. I'm assuming that they're aware enough to actually notice it. As they ransack the truck driver's house, the kids stand about 15 feet away and film them for like ten minutes before the guy in charge turns to his friend and utters the amazing line, "Do you see that?".

Oh, wow. Do I ever.

But what to expect? This is the same military that knows this creature is subterranean, and knows that it is popping up in various locations and then disappearing into thin air, but never once bothers to look for any of the multitude of gigantic craters that therefore must be (and are!) pockmarking the area, or try to locate any underground tunnels. They're also the people who angered one of their top scientists on the most secretive operation of all time and then fired him, never followed up on what he was up to, and decided it was probably okay to drive the alien right by his back door.

And at the end? They destroy an entire town because they can't stop shooting. Literally. "Our weapons are constantly misfiring! That must mean we're constantly reloading! Maybe we should reevaluate that!" Nah. Don't worry about it. You're good.

I'm really just at a loss as far as the town people go. I wanted them all to die. I laughed a lot, and mostly at them. The gas station scene was ultimate generic horror movie death shot anyway, but then the guy the next day looking at the TOTALLED building and going "Nah, this here's a bear attack," just took it to a very special place for me. And the electrician alone in the dark raising his little cubby up higher because he wants to try and glean a look at whatever just HURLED A STOVE IN HIS DIRECTION? I had to wipe a tear away. God bless his curious little heart.

These people earned death at every step. Even Sheriff Dad just sort of wandered around the second half of the film doing nada until he almost accidentally finds his son at the end. This is the same hero who figured, "Hey, buddy, your mom just died. Except for me, you're all alone in this world. I'm gonna send you away from me so I can have the summer to myself. Also, I'm gonna spit on your friends." It doesn't take a struggling and lost but redeemable father to do these things. It takes an ass.

The stoner guy turns out to be the hero in this one. He starts off stupid..."Hey, the military is all over the place, stuff is on fire big time, people have disappeared right and left, but this hot girl just said exactly three sentences to me. Of course I'll risk my butt for her brother!"...but then he gets really high and sleeps through the rest of the film. Exactly like I should have done. More the fool me, I guess.

Like I said, the kids were all outstanding. They were well written, fun characters. Their acting is top shelf there. And while they did some unbelievable things it was all sold well and it worked. It's just too bad they weren't in a better film.