Review of StreetDance 3D (2010) by Simona B — 11 Jun 2010

I wish I could say "it's so bad, it's good" but I cannot. StreetDance 3D is not good. The only thing to be said here is that I wish I had seen it in 2D; I might have disliked it less then. Decent dance choreography does not make up for shite cinematography and gut-twisting everything else. This film's plot is next to nonexistent and is best described as that mangled shitfest Step Up robbed of its poor boy vs. rich girl conflict, and with more people on the centre stage. Jane English -- the one responsible for the said plot -- should have stuck with television writing.

StreetDance 3D is co-directed by Dania Pasquini and Max Giwa ... whoever has heard of them? Whilst I do understand they don't have much to work with here, but hell, they don't get anything out of their cast! Some of the scenes in the film are nothing but cringe worthy and the best performance is put in by the always beautiful City of London ... kudos to the film's location scout.

The difficulties with StreetDance's cinematography are partly down to the fact that the entire thing is savaged by poorly contrived 3D effects, however, I suspect it would not have been very much better in 2D. The one and only quality shot in the entire film lasts for about five seconds: it is a close-up of Carly (arguably, the film's main character, thought it's hard to tell) in her room lying on her bed calling her boyfriend.

Verdict? Hands down, StreetDance 3D is getting nominated for the Dance Movie Clusterfuck Of The Year Award at my Let's Get Smashed And Watch The Academy Awards party early next year.