Review of Steamboy (2004) by Edith N — 31 Aug 2008

Don't get me wrong. I would love to see some good steampunk. I think it could be done very well on the big screen, if someone were willing to put enough thought into it. As I said, I thought [i]Journey to the Center of the Earth[/i] would have been much improved had it been steampunk instead of modern. But the thing is, you have to work on building your [i]story[/i] first, not just your tech. And [i]Suchîmubôi[/i] is all tech, no story. It isn't even really a steampunk universe, as some of the Miyazakis are. It's just two families that happen to build big, snarly, steam-powered death machines.

[i]Suchîmubôi[/i] is the exploits of, sadly, the Steam family. I wish I were making that part up, but no. In the American, James Ray Steam is voiced by Anna Paquin, to pair, I suppose, with the fact that he's voiced by a young woman in the original Japanese version as well. His father, Dr. Edward Steam, is voiced by Alfred Molian; his grandfather, Dr. Lloyd Steam, is voiced by Patrick Stewart. He also encounters the O'Hara family, including Scarlett (Kari Wahlgren), who cannot be [i]the[/i] Scarlett O'Hara, given that this is set sometime in the 1860s, and we know what she was doing at that particular time! At any rate, there is much doom coming up if the O'Hara-Steam people get their way, because apparently, they don't like people. (Who knew?).

I really had a hard time following this story, and it's not only because I really didn't care. But I really didn't care. The plot twists at the end were ridiculous, but without them, there really wouldn't have been much plot. I suppose an argument could be made about its being an interesting exploration of the dichotomy between science being used for good and science being used for evil, but the first step in making the argument would be, I'm afraid, to take out the word "interesting." Because, you see, it isn't. [i]Shiny[/i], yes. Interesting? Not so much.

It was shiny. Graham says I have to admit that, and I do so freely. It's a lovely movie. I'm not sure enough detail was given to some of the wounds some people would have suffered, but let's face it--you're not going to show horrific steam burns in a children's movie, even one that features an inexplicable half-naked old man wandering around. (And shouldn't that old man himself be suffering some pretty nasty burns?) I know the Japanese are weird by our standards, just as I'm pretty sure we're weird by theirs. But both cultures, at least, seem pretty sure that the real steam burns these people would suffer are not appropriate children's fare.

I get asked, occasionally, if I like anime. I think this is too broad a question. I did not like [i]this[/i] anime. I like the Miyazakis, though they do tend to run together after a while. I like [i]Ranma 1/2[/i], even though it's very silly indeed. There are other individual anime that I will go on record as liking. But, as I believe Roger Ebert has phrased better, to say "I like such-and-such" and "I don't like such-and-such" when discussing movie genres is a sign that you don't really like [i]film[/i]. And how much worse is it for anime, which covers just about every genre there is?