Review of Stash House (2012) by Tim B — 19 Feb 2013

Honestly, the only reason I found Stash House was IMDb-ing my favorite action stars (6 Bullets brought the kid in me out again) and saw it on Dolph Lundgren's resume. Pair that with a 'drug deal/stalker' style flick and you had one that promised me a good time.

I shut it off cussing. How do you mess up an idea like this? Well, it starts off with the writing. The flick was filled with so many plot holes and see-through scenarios. Characters were introduced in here to be obvious stereotypes later on (bad guy, dead chick etc.

). Speaking of characters, the flick was filled with idiots. There was nobody to root for here. Both the good and bad guys did the dumbest moves in name of keeping the plot moving (which it also failed at) and there was not one person I rooted for.

The good guys ran around the house and yard, playing hide-and-seek while the bad guys mainly stood outside and shone flashlights while uttering threats that they never followed through with. People would be easily defeated and then suddenly good-to-go (shoddy editing) and plot devices used in scenes were beyond ridiculous (A 6 foot muscle-clad killer is taken down easily with a spray-cleaner to the face).

Everybody is also so cool and confident considering the situation they're in. People should be a lot more chaotic than this! Panic! Run! Do SOMETHING! The fact that nothing happened after the iniital set-up for over an hour tested my nerves.

Anything cool? Well, I will admit Eduardo Rodriguez is a talented director. The approaches he took were awesome in parts (loved the security cam shots). Too bad the movie's plot was boring... Dolph Lundgren also kicked ass, considering his role sucked.

.. Briana Evigan also did great in the role, considering what she was given to work with. Sean Faris is decent with what he has, but his character comes across as a big puss. Jon Huertas gives a pretty intense showing.

I was pretty surprised for him in this role. Add to this a sex scene with no stripping (is this PG?) and that pesky theory that cops are retarded in flicks and there you have it. If the movie played around a bit with its typical synopsis, I may have dug on it more.

But this was a movie filled with plot holes, suspensions of disbelief and (most importantly) BOREDOM galore. How does that happen in a flick like this? Yeesh... Waste of talent attached to this one. They, and we as an audience, deserve way better.

I say skip it...