Review of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019) by Brutaful — 20 Dec 2019

Absolutely horrendous. There are so many things that are still left unanswered AND new questions that we'll likely never get answers to. Here are some that are bothering me...

How is Rey so powerful? Saying that she's a Palpatine is just lazy writing and I'll show why right now. Palpatine is dead, and should have remained dead. Bringing him back to life completely undermines the whole Skywalker story! Now all the work, all the suffering Luke and Anakin went through- it's all for nothing. Just so we can have Rey, the complete Mary Sue defeat Palpatine? Why? Rey gets almost no training and these little snippets of her training in TLJ and this movie aren't enough. They're not convincing. She's doing things with the force we've never seen before. Who did she learn them from? Leia? How did Leia learn them? From Luke? Yet we've never seen Luke heal anyone with the force, so that isn't convincing.

Speaking of Luke- how did Maz find Anakin's/Luke's lightsaber? She said it was a "story for another time" in TFA, but we didn't get the story in TLJ or in this movie. Where did she get it? How? Why?

Why is Hux the spy? The way he ousts himself as the spy is ridiculous. His motivations make no sense. He says he doesn't want the Resistance to win, but he doesn't want Kylo to win. That just shows he has no allegiance. The Resistance has no reason to protect him once he's served his purpose as Hux doesn't care for their cause, and Kylo wont care to take Hux back as Hux has betrayed him.

Why is Rose completely sidelined in this movie? I don't like her character at all, but there's no satisfying conclusion between her and Finn. Instead it looks like Rose was replaced by this Jana chick, so we don't have to deal with the blunders made by Rian through the character of Rose. That's just lazy though.

Why are Finn, Rey, and Poe always bickering? We're supposed to believe these are people who are good friends, yet they bicker like they just met each other or never bothered to smooth out any problems they've ever had with each other.

I've got more questions, but I'll move on from that...for now.

There's tons of fan service, but it's insulting. It's as if Disney thinks Star Wars fans are stupid. The kiss between Rey and Kylo seems stupid as they really don't look like a convincing couple. JJ's attempts to make you care about what's going on through Leia's, Luke's, Han's, and Lando's appearances fall flat. Why should I care? You've ruined and then killed him. You turned Han into some sort of deadbeat and then killed him too. Leia is apparently a full fledged Jedi, but Carrie Fisher's gone now, and yet you parade her around in this movie as terrible CGI, instead of giving her a respectful sendoff in TLJ. Oh and Lando? He's just here for nostalgia's sake. Of course, Palpatine is here for pretty much the same reason....nostalgia.

Sure, the movie looks incredible, but I expect that from Disney. What I didn't expect, was that I'd feel so uninterested in the major battle near the end of the movie. This is supposed to be epic and I don't care. I don't care at all. I couldn't care less if Rey, Finn, Poe, Rose, Janna, etc die, because I know so little about them and worse, Rey and Rose aren't even likable. Now you've made it worse by having Rey be the chosen one, undermining the Skywalkers' story. You even have her take on the Skywalker name, which is disgusting as it doesn't feel earned at ALL. Good job, Disney. Your main character, the one we should all love as much as we love Luke, is liked about as much as Jar Jar Binks. Fantastic.

It's funny...I decided to watch this movie because I'd heard about all the leaks and thought I'd at least get a good laugh out of this train-wreck. Instead, I was bored, annoyed, and by the end, disgusted. Even with all the leaks, watching all of this unfold was still simply appalling. To make matters worse, it's clear Disney is doing HUGE amounts of damage control. I've seen so many 10/10 reviews that say the same thing, in the same words, and with the same sentence structure. If this movie is a 10/10 to so many people, why aren't they going into great detail about it? Instead I see a few 7 and 8s giving some details and lots of negative reviews detailing just how much they hate the movie, and more importantly, WHY they hate the movie.

This movie is absolutely horrendous and even worse than The Last Jedi. It's NOT a "satisfying end to the trilogy" and no amount of fake reviews is going to change that. It really is the worst Star Wars movie ever. Skip this one and watch the Mandalorian instead. At least that's actually decent.

1/10. (Updated Dec, 22, 2020) Ok, so I'm going to add more stuff..

Zorii Bliss is a weak character. Her motivations changed from being angry at Poe for leaving her behind on Kijimi to wanting to help him, Rey, and Finn so quickly that it'd make your head spin.

How did Lando get all those Resistance ships on his side in so little time?!

Still a 1/10.