Review of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019) by Franzhcritic — 20 Dec 2019

I've seen deus ex machina's in a film before, but never before has an entire movie been one giant miracle Hail Mary divine intervention victory lap. It has more holes in it than a scalp after a hair transplant and more nostalgia bait and fan-pandering than all Pixar/DreamWorks/Disney sequels combined.

If it wasn't for Daisy Ridley being hot, I'd give this what I gave 'Battlefield Earth'. I'd say a lot more, but it's one in the morning and I want to get at least six hours sleep. Abrams, if you want to spit on the grave of a beloved franchise, why don't you reboot 'Felicity' while you're at it.

? It would actually be better than this.