Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Ripsnoke F — 13 Feb 2018

The resistance are on the run and they need to radio for help. They can only transmit this message from an abandoned super secret base on Crait. They have no other means of contacting their allies. None.

So they call Maz. They get pretty good reception all things considered. They concoct a plan to sneak onto Snoke's flagship and turn off his top secret tracker. So secret even Snoke doesn't know about it.

They google for the detailed schematics that show precisely where the tracker is located. No Bothan spies were harmed obtaining this information.

Then in the middle of this harrowing pursuit through space, some of the crew go to a holiday resort.

The ship they used to EFFORTLESSLY escape the pursuing First Order fleet gets clamped on a beach. So they steal an even better one. It's extremely fast and could ferry dozens of resistance crew to safety. They fly this ship into Snoke's ship and immediately get captured. Then they escape, steal ANOTHER ship, fly back to the not terribly hard to find resistance base, and crash into it.

They wait for a bit.

Then they deliberately crash the only 2 remaining vehicles on the planet that can save them.

Romantic interlude.

Then Rey and Chewbacca show up and give them a lift. The end.

Wait, there's a film coming out after this one? Are you serious? Why would you continue a story that already had a perfect ending?