Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Scott A — 05 Feb 2018

The second I found out Disney took over Star Wars, I knew Star Wars was doomed. I knew it would turn into a pitch for girl power and diversity. Leia slapping a man? What if a man slapped a woman!!!? In addition, I knew Disney would make Star Wars all flash and no substance. Substance, to me, is what makes Star Wars what it is. Star Wars was so deep with philosophy, etc. that it leaves things subjective and open to interpretation. And, to me, that interpretation gives the viewer his/her own sense of what Star Wars is and can make it his/her own.

Anyway, imagine if Disney stuck to the Star Wars script and, for instance, made Luke Skywalker the hero we all remember him to be. This movie could have easily topped one billion domestic. I hope you enjoy all the billions of dollars you're going to lose out on now, Disney! You sold out Star Wars to appeal to nothing but women and SJW's and admit doing so, isn't that right Rian Johnson? Funny how Rian Johnson is getting so defensive over his "work". Deep down you're admitting your guilt that you're an atrocity to the big screen.

As for all the professional "critics"... why don't you all grow a pair and tell us how you really feel. You all are too afraid to write a negative review? Take Disney's metaphorical dick out of your mouths and assholes and do your job. As for the critics who gave it a negative review, we love you and appreciate you and we'll do our best to make sure you're always revered!

Oh, and one more thing Rian. Stop acting like you're a genius. I know you are losing sleep and officially on medication since you know the entire world loathes you and thinks you're worthless. Loved your article, Rian, about how you couldn't wait to see the audiences reaction to the Canto Bight scene because you thought it was a masterpiece. Yeah, I think us Star Wars fans have deemed that scene the most worthless of all time because it has nothing to do with the movie. Stop deflecting, Rian Johnson. You're done. Retire. Nobody wants to see your name or face in the spotlight ever again.

Oh! And what was up with the humor in this movie? It was absurd. Personally, I think Hux maybe slipping on a banana peel and getting a cream pie thrown in his face in the opening sequence would be more original and funny than all the humor combined in this film.

I'm nitpicking now, but the casino planet should have at least had a Pazaak Den. : ).

Anyway, I give the 1-star for John Williams... the man is incredible.