Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Jade P — 03 Feb 2018

This movie was thoroughly insulting to Original Trilogy fans:

- They ruined Luke. He risked his life to save his murderous father based on a shred of hope, but moved to kill his innocent, sleeping nephew based on a shred of darkness?

- We're pro-burning books now (like Nazis)?

- All magic/lore is not only missing, but actively shat upon.

- With millions of dollars, how difficult is it to recreate the 1980s puppet? Why did he look so wrong, and why did he use his joke voice?

- Rey is still a Mary Sue and wholly lacking in meaningful character development/arc. She has powers out of nowhere that Luke slowly developed with training over three films.

- New characters are flat/boring/unbelievable.

- Leia hasn't seen her brother in twenty years, and our feminist icon only speaks of her hair?

- Leia, a proven hero in the original three movies, points the group to mutinous, hot-head Poe for leadership?

- Why didn't they put Poe into the brig?

- Why did the vice admiral keep their plan a secret?

- Why should low-skill Finn defeat highly skilled Captain Phasma in one-on-one combat?

- Hux is too incompetent to be a leader in a fear-based organization.

- Who is Snoke, where did he originate, how did the First Order originate, and why should we believe any of this?

- Why wouldn't Snoke's guards bow to their obviously new leader?

- Why would Maz Kanata answer a call during a lethal battle?

- Did they impossibly communicate with realspace while in hyperspace?

- Tracking hyperspace jumps is impossible.

- Wookiees are short-tempered dog-people (prone to dismemberment), not vegans.

- Casino scene felt entirely out of place, and was a grand waste of time, filled with ham-fisted moral sap.

- Kid with broom at end was far too wishy-washy, ham-fisted childish moral sap.

- Where do they get these spinning Resistance rings? Why aren't they putting those funds into better training, leadership, weapons, etc?

- Weaponization of lightspeed doesn't fit the physics of Star Wars and makes no sense given previous battles (eg attacks on Death Stars).

- Ships don't lose speed when they lose fuel in vacuum of space.

- Jokes are again far too trendy; they won't stand the test of time, they detract from the high fantasy.

- Why did the Rebel Alliance to Restore the Republic fail after Return of the Jedi, why have they failed for the last 30 years, why is their band so small, and why wouldn't they change leadership after so many failures?

- Why didn't Disney base their Sequel Trilogy after the proven Thrawn Trilogy? Or Dark Empire? Or whatever Lucas proposed? Why are they simply making things up as they go, treating the Saga like a TV series?

'Rogue One' got the tone and spirit of Star Wars correct, but 'The Force Awakens' and 'The Last Jedi' are abominations. I've thoroughly lost hope in the Saga, devoured by its own Franchise.