Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Kikoo L — 26 Jan 2018

Stupendous! Tremendous! Glorious! What can I add!

You people are really bitter fanboys because this the best Star Wars ever!

Heck, this is simply the best movie of all time, the best thing that happened in all the history of cinema! Nothing will surpass this as we have reached the infinite filmographic wisdom!

I can spot genius art when I see it and let me tell you that this smooth scene where Jake Skywalker gently squeez that beautiful and gracious galactic sea elephant's tit is simply the best thing I ever witnessed on screen.

You could commpare Leia's space scene to a Da Vinci painting: visionnary, enigmatic and enchanting! But I'm afraid this was in fact shot in a swimming pool.

My third favorite scene is when Snoke is in a Trump's hotel penthouse dressed as a (force) pimp from the 70's and surprisingly dies because of this basic mind trick, what a twist! Who could have guessed? Not me for sure!

Force is female falks, get used to it just accept it! Rey is a great master because she is a woman we don't need to develop this point I don't get why people are resisting so hard, I mean how misogynist is that!

As for the light speed attack, wow. Just wow. What a find, how nobody thought of this before? It makes battles much more simpler now, to be honnest I was tired of all those X Wings and Tie Fighter blasting all over the place! What a mess!

The writing of the characters is profound, the brilliant dialogues dusted with hilarious jokes and puns made me feel like I was watching a film from François Truffaut, so bold!

The entire movie is deeply coherent in term of plots(s) and it does not fails to show us what the true SWU really is, those criticizing it have no subtle level of lecture whatsoever.

I'd make a reservation however on the Rose character: she does have enought screen time to show us her true relevance.

My wish for episode IX is that JJ gets rid of Poe, Finn, Ren, Hux, Chewbacca, droids, aliens, ships, planets, stars, space and make a film that depicts the struggle of Rey and a thousand Roses (who cloned herself but we are not sure how and when) struggling in a regressive patriarcal racist California, their journey could take them in a vegan restaurant for example!

It would litteraly be the dream set for a Star Wars movie, honoring the saga's rich legacy while adding some surprising twists -- and delivering all the emotion-rich action fans could hope for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!