Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Miles S — 23 Jan 2018

J.J: "So, Luke left a MAP in R2 in case the rebels needed to find him.".

Rian: "I'm changing it: Luke just went to Ach-To to DIE!".

J.J.: "Snoke seduced Kylo Ren to the dark-side...".

Rian: "Yeah, I'm not bothering with that.".

J.J.: "But Snoke needs explaning because after Return of the Jedi, it seemed the dark-side ended but then Snoke...".

Rian: "I can't think of anything so I'll just kill him off.".

J.J: "Well there are these Knights Of Ren...".

Rian: "Boring! I'm not putting that in my film either.".

J.J.: "Okay... well Maz Katana came to possess Luke's lightsaber after it fell on Cloud City. Now this is important cuz this used to be Anakin's lightsaber and Obi Wan passed it on and...".

Rian: "Nah, Luke doesn't give a crap about all that. He'll just toss it over his shoulder like a piece of trash.".

J.J.: "Well what about Rey? We have to explain her lineage and how she's so powerful...".

Rian: "No, no, no! Her parents were nobody. She's strong because ALL women are strong! This is a feminist film remember?".

J.J.: "So basically, you're throwing out everything I set up?".

Rian: "Yep! Hahaha! Everything that came before me was crap! I'm far too sophisticated for Star Wars. Thats why I'm going to use this crap franchise to serve my political agenda instead!".