Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Bro B — 09 Jan 2018

Just saw this last night. A couple thoughts, and this is just off the top of my head:

How the fuck does Ray learn how to use the force that well after a short amount of time?

How the heck can you just weaponize hyper drive? That literally changes the entire story or plot lines.

Luke says the Jedi must end? What? He was going to kill his own nephew? Thats not what the light side of the force would do. Like, what the hell!?

How does Leia use the force to keep herself alive while her blood boils in the vacuum of space? Cuz that changes EVERYTHING too! What the f?!

Snoke sat in a freaken chair the whole time, wow what a boring ass character. He is supposed to be all powerful, but Kylo had the ability to hide his true intent and take him out that easy?? I mean you shoulda seen the kill, it was pathetic. like, How? What?

The end fight with Luke was deplorable. So, Im supposed to believe that Luke is meditating so hard that his body just appears to be fighting Kylo. Ok super. So, Kylo cant kill him, and when they flash back to Luke he is away from the battle meditating and sweating like a pig. So, why not just come out of that meditation and live? Why did he just disappear at the end? I mean at least Obi got killed by Vadar's light saber and Yoda dies of old age, and yes they both disappear, so I get that disappearing when you die is a Jedi thing. But, Luke literally just, poof. Just like, chooses to die. just vanished. It makes no sense. If Kylo was able to kill him, he would have been dead when he stabs him, but its not really Luke its his force or whatever. So how the f does Luke die?! Meditating to hard?! Someone tell me how did Luke die?

F Disney. F JJ Abrams. F Rian Johnson. F anyone who had a large hand in ruining this franchise for people ages 25-90.

Great for kids who have no concept of good writing.