Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Ak Jedi 1 — 27 Dec 2017

"This will begin to make things right.".

The first words uttered in "The Force Awakens," were like a breath of fresh air to the fans of the Star Wars franchise, who suffered through a decade of heart-stabbing Prequels, and wanted to see the story they loved soar high again. As a fan, those words spoke directly to the kid in me, who desired to recapture everything I had loved about the original movies of the 70's-80's. It was as if JJ Abrams and Disney were openly reassuring me they felt as I did. The film, albeit, closely mirroring Episode IV- "A New Hope," to the chagrin of some of the die-hards, had made a lasting positive impression on most fans. Many saw it as a welcome addition to the series. It had rescued Star Wars from George Lucas' abominable Prequel CGI nightmares, the horrid Jar Jar Binks, stale acting, and convoluted politi-speak storylines. It recaptured the essence of what I loved about Star Wars, the epic struggle against good and evil, the darkness and the light side of the Force. The characters were fresh and exciting. JJ Abrams deftly navigated each backstory, leaving just enough breadcrumbs to keep Star Wars lovers guessing and EXCITED for the sequel. TFA successfully spawned a new generation of Star Wars fans, while bringing back many who had written off the franchise for its past flops.

Enter in "The Last Jedi," directed by Rian Johnson. No exactly sure why Rian hated TFA so much, or perhaps Star Wars, more generally, but TLJ is nothing short of a quest to kill the franchise and stomp on the collective hearts of its millions of adoring fans worldwide. Nicely done Disney.

The whole movie could be summed up in two scenes: Luke Skywalker tossing his lightsaber (sorry, "laser sword...") off the side of a cliff, after Rey risked life and limb to find him in the previous film, and Kylo Ren literally verbalizing the Director's not so subtle desire to, "Let the past die. Kill it if you have to." And kill it he did. Rian Johnson, in 2 hrs. and 53 mins. undid all of the anticipation setup wonderfully by his predecessor, as well as any future desire to find out where it all goes from here. Luke- dead for no apparent reason, other than he got tired. Rey- a nobody, who somehow knows EVERYTHING about the Force. The Resistance- a handful of survivors, who barely fill the lounge of the Millennium Falcon. The First Order, after suffering the huge loss of Starkiller Base- a parody of itself, not intimidating, listless, and lacking any serious relevancy. Finn, Poe, and any other male cast member, a mindless mesh of testosterone and the worst possible stereotypical male "traits," that some Disney, feminist focus group could dream up...

Thanks to Disney, Star Wars has been reduced to a series of liberal clap-trap slogans from the New York Times, Daily Kos, and Huffington Post. No longer is "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away ..." about family, the struggle of light against darkness, redemption, friendship, or the quest for ultimate power. No! Now it is firmly in the clutches of such wonderful messages like, "women are the future and men are only there as props to make them look good and say dumb things." Oh, and let's not forget the other important themes worth devoting an entire subplot of this movie to, Animal Rights, the Military Industrial Complex, and the futility of Self Sacrifice. Seriously, who wrote this script Disney? Noam Chomsky? Did you have all the writers of "The West Wing" involved on this project? The critics apparently loved it (surprise... surprise...).

People don't want to spend money, and sit through an agenda-driven preaching session! I could turn on CNN, or watch and NFL game if I wanted that ANY day of the week. We wanted Star Wars!

I could go on... the film was beautiful on the technical aspects, but the story was so impractical and ludicrous. How come the superior battle cruisers of the First Order can't catch a limping Resistance cruiser? How did Star Wars suddenly become Battlestar Galactica? I saw a comparison that it was like watching the OJ, white Suburban chase down the LA freeways. It was! Come on! We can't do better than that?

Rian Johnson's movie is a slap in the face to those of us who have loved Star Wars from the very beginning. Kids like me, who can remember running, holding my toy Millennium Falcon over my head and shouting, "You're all clear kid!" setting Luke up for his final, dashing, bombing run on the Death Star.

Disney needs to take its own advice and get its collective head out to the cockpit. "The Last Jedi," will sadly, likely be my last Star Wars movie.

Help us JJ Abrams you're my only hope!