Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Tomasith — 09 Jan 2018

"Let the past die. Kill it if you have to". These words, spoken by Kylo, undoubtfuly relate to the Star Wars saga after 2015 and the premiere of TFA. The saga is in agony. It kills the heroes of old you once related to. It will kill anything you held dear about the old movies. And you, dear viewer, should kill any hope you may still have for the SW tale to continue in a right direction taking into account that the last episode of the newest trilogy will be in the hands of Jar Jar Abrams (who started this mess), and the entire consecutive trilogy spawned in the sick mind of RJ - creator of the latest film - TLJ.

TFA, longly awaited, twisted the galaxy far far away that we knew. It was a calque of ANH gone wrong. I have posted my review of it 2 years ago, so will not go into detail about that movie. The only thing left when I went out of the cinema (did not buy the BR/DVD to see - not worth the money and my time) was hope. Hope for the next episode to set things right. To create new characters who you may relate to. To create the new EU (the old one Disney crossed out when buying the franchise). RO launched in the meantime and it fueled that ray of hope that things are heading in the right direction for the saga as well. But that hope unfortunately was hacked to pieces by a machete with the premiere of TLJ.

The movie continues to dismantle the universe once so beloved by me. It also raises questions. Why Disney, having basically unlimited resources, hires a guy whose only achievement is a mediocre movie to continue with the greatest saga of all time? Who is overlooking this entire project, as there is clearly no proper management over the creative aspects. In the previous trilogies each episode had some consistency in the storyline. Now the viewer (at least me) is left confused. New characters are created just to kill them off/abandon in the next movie? A cliffhanger at the end of TFA (as weak as the film was) leaves us with great expectations- meanwhile it's blown off after 10 minutes of the next film with Luke throwing his sword away and milking the sea-cow (example of hideous "humor")? Why have more sensible ideas been crossed out from the EU, substituted by ridiculous ones which now are "cannon"? Examples: 1) bombers in space, slow as hell, dropping bombs with the force of gravity? Even in the previous movies there were B-wings shooting torpedoes- which makes more sense than having to get so close to the enemy warship; 2) hyperspacing (although hyperspace "logic" was already tampered with in TFA) into enemy ships- why did they not think of it in all the previous movies?! It would have saved millions of lives (Death Star 1 destroying Alderaan; Starkiller destroying even more worlds)! Oh- probably because a woman wasn't in charge of the Rebel fleet then- that would explain it. Retarted men could not have thought of such a simple solution. But why does Haldo sacrifice herself and the command ship instead of just hyping all of the transports (flown by droids) into First Order ships..? There's tons of similar stupidities in the plot mentioned by other reviewers, but the last one I mentioned takes us to the feminist "touch" to the New Star Wars, which is unbearable. I understand the SW universe was dominated by men (because they're sci-fi's "target"?), and there must now be a "par" that we let women in 50/50. But why must their characters be so flat? There were plenty of strong females in the EU: Leia, Mara Jade, the commander of the test Death Star etc. They had "balls" and were memorable. Why did the screenplay writer now lower the standard so much? Didn't he notice this creates a caricature? Even hearing Leia now makes me wanna puke because of the things they make her say (did not happen in the OT). The worst though is the Asian chick - every time she said something it literaliry made me make a facepalm in the cinema. Especially her last words ("make love not war"). I really hope this character does not survive (she was wounded)... She's just meaningless (as 1/3rd of the move with the subplot she's in). Contrary to the women, men are plain stupid ("salt!"), hot-heads (Poe; although admiral Holdo seems to be into that type of men from time to time- as she states) or cowards (Fin wanting to escape; Luke- who is a travesty of himself from the old days and the old EU). Also Kathleen Kennedy making her campaign "the Force is female". WTF?! At least we know who's forcing this crap and who should go to make things better.

There's far more idiocies to describe, but I must end here, as the review's limited to 5k characters.

The thing I have to add at the end: I was a life-long fan of SW (since like 3). I have a 1yo son now and I am ashamed I have bought him SW clothes/gadgets and wanted him to follow my footsteps in embracing the SW universe. I will have to burn all that now, just just like Yoda did to the sacred Jedi scrolls. Let the past die. Let SW die. Shame. Not into SW saga anymore- don't honestly care.