Review of Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017) by Ryanpaulyoung — 11 Jan 2018

Like so many, I prepared for this film properly - early bird ticket, no spoilers, no reviews and zero expectations – only to flee the theatre afterward in a fitful state of bewilderment and dismay.

This film was so terrible, it drove me to an immediate second viewing in disbelief, then tears and finally Rotten Tomatoes to comment.

A must watch if you appreciate endless plot holes, ill timed slapstick humor, tonally disjointed scenes, Jedi skype calls, laughable villains, pointless side quests, uninspiring new characters, force ghost lightning (wtf), low gas tanks, absent autopilot and droids, light speed crashes, lazy subversion in place of quality consistent story telling ...and pairing the truly abysmal assassination of Jake Skywalker (see Hamill's interview) against the all powerful, yet unrelatable Mary Sue (see internet)... and of course, porgs. Keck. I would like to include a special thank you to both directors - and perhaps Disney - for allowing our once beloved hero, NOW warped cynical deranged defeatist coward, to greet Rey in TFA in FULL "Sunday Best" JEDI ROBES – before pitching his Father’s light saber over a cliff in pure slapstick fashion, choke on milk from a quadriplegic sea sloth and repeatedly retreat to his hut in fear in TLJ. Way to work together guys...

Cringe. I'm so sorry Mark Hamill. You deserved better.