Review of Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) by Cameron J — 29 Feb 2012

Hey man, the "Star Wars" toys are about as big as the movies, and they've already given the LEGO versions several of their own video games, so it was only a matter of time before George Lucas gave the dolls-I mean action figures (*cough*nerds*cough*) their own installment in the film franchise. Of course, they didn't go with what might be their biggest marketing brand, the aforementioned LEGO versions, because that would look just too silly, which is why instead of animating characters out of LEGO bricks, they seem to have animated characters out of real bricks. You'd think a multi-billion-dollar franchise would be able to afford better animators, but then again, you'd think that a multi-billion-dollar franchise would be able to afford better punch-up writers, yet that assumption got disproved real quick with the dialogue in "The Phantom Menace" and - woah boy - the dialogue in this film. Hey, I'm sure they will at least make up for the bad animation and dialogue with some pretty powerful performers providing the voices, such as Matt Lanter, who rose to prominence with his performance in the unforgettable definitive disaster movie, "Disaster Movie". Hey, I said that the film was unforgettable; I didn't say that you would want to remember it, because lord knows that I don't want to flash back to those trenches, and yet, I must admit that just by being in that film, Matt Lanter proved himself to be a much more fitting casting choice for Anakin Skywalker than Hayden Christensen, because I can think of plenty of people who would consider the prequels disasters of bad comedies. Hey, it may be a remake of a prequel of a prequel, but if you would still consider this film an "official" part of the prequel saga, then this time, I'm gonna have to agree with y'all and say that it is decidedly not good, and yet, I still can't even call this one bad either. This film is a huge mess, to be sure, yet it's still rather palatable and has its reasons for being so.

No matter how many lows this series hits, there has been and still is something that is constantly, not good, but great about this series, and that is the score. Here, while some of his pre-composed themes are retained, John Williams has left the music in the hands of relative unkown Kevin Kiner, who's certainly no John Williams, but still does a great job at putting together a score that's so very distinctive from any other previous "Star Wars" composition, yet still has the bang, pow and liveliness that is so distinctively "Star Wars", and it really pumps this film with life and entertainment value, just like all the compositions before it. Of course, that's not the only sound that keeps you going, because although the voice acting is certainly not top-notch, but with animation and dialogue this bad, more often than not, voice performances come off as really bad. However, here, the performers hold their own, and although they're not with the deep material layed upon the shoulders of the live-action performers, there is charisma and variety in the voices, with everyone breathing charm into this world and keeping it going. I've got to say that I couldn't be even more surprised by Matt Lanter, who, again, isn't stellar, but showing that he has genuine charisma, even if he is the star of some of the worst films of all time. Of course, this film is not at all among those worst films of all time, mainly because it is with undeniable charm, yet at the same time, it still does nothing to ameliorate Lanter's track record, because this is easily the weakest installment of the entire hit-or-miss "Star Wars" series. Sure, it's not full-on bad, but, again, it is a mediocre mess of pure filler with nothing worth remembering, except for maybe the animation, unless of course you manage to supress that torturous memory.

Now, I'm not saying that the animation is bad, I'm saying that it's awful, with the designs being borderline lifeless and the motion being just as wooden and mechanically-jointed, creating a vicious blow to many aspects of the film, particularly the action. Now, the action is still pretty decent, even if it does get to the point of being overly prominent and overly noisy, but the animation drags it down so much to the point where even an army of clones and psychics with laser swords fighting an army of robots and cannons loses steam. Again, the action isn't terrible, but it gets unengaging, and if the action isn't even enough to captivate you, then the substance shouldn't stand a chance, and sure enough, while the film gets charming enough to be kept from being consistently steamless, it's near-impossible to stick with this film all the way through, partially because the dialogue is really bad, being packed with such childishly cheesy banter and ineffective humor. We don't even make it past the 35 minute mark before Jabba the Hut refers to his infant son (Seriously, what happened to the already adolescent little Jabba we saw a glimpse of in "The Phantom Menace"?) as his little "Punky Muffin", and moments like that really take a hard knock at the film's compellingness, while the rushed, underdeveloped and really spotty story writing - exacterbated by equally messy story"telling" - delivers the death blow and leaves the film all but devoid of tension so fast it's not even funny. Sure, this is just the longer, bigger-budgeted pilot episode for the cartoon series, so don't expect this to amount to any real point in the context of the live-action series, but there should be some amount of intrigue in this should-be explosive mini-epic, and there's close to nothing here. I know that expecting plenty from this film is borderline ludicrous, but this concept of nothing but pure "Star Wars" dazzle and fun deserves more than this execution. Again, this film is not at all tedious nor even that unlikable, but it's such a needless effort that is ultimately unrewarding, being a very definitive example of mediocre filler aimed at the lowest common denominator.

Overall, the film goes saved by some undeniably decent set pieces that are really brought to life by stellar score work and admittedly quite charming voice work, but with borderline-lifelessly-rendered, stone cold animation diluting intrigue, which finds itself damaged even further by embarassingly cheesy and cliched dialogue, as well as choppy, uncompellingly generic story writing and directing to match, "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" is left an underwhelming, unrewarding and forgettably pointless venture that never breaks past mediocrity.

2/5 - Passable.