Review of Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) by Robobob — 01 Feb 2016

THE worst Star Wars film... and this is coming for a life long Star Wars fan. There is so much wrong with this film I don't know where to begin. Let's start with the title: Why is this movie called Attack of the Clones? Who are they attacking because they actually come to the rescue at the end of the movie. This title would have fitted the third film better.

The "friendship" between Obi-Wan and Anakin is not believable. Obi-Wan is sometimes a bossy father figure while Anakin comes across as a pouty spoiled brat.

The "love" between Padme and Anakin is also not believable. Yeah, they're both good looking but aside from that why are they attracted to each other? Girls, if a guy cries to you on your first date that he's slain a village full of people, dump him and move out of town. Guys, if a girl keeps telling you she's not interested but keeps wearing sexy clothes during alone time, she's a tease... move on.

Some of the epic battle scenes look video game cutscenes from a PS3 game. Something just looks off. Maybe it's because every clone trooper is CGI instead of an actor in a suit.

Aside from those major issues there's plenty of silly moments like when Jango Fett chooses to kill his bounty hunter partner instead of killing the 2 Jedi that had their backs to him. Oh, and if he is the best bounty hunter in the galaxy then why is he paying someone else to do his work?

Anakin jumps out of a speeder thousands of feet in the air and Obi-Wan says, "I hate it when he does that." Really? Anakin is jumping out of moving vehicles often or just doing stupid things often?

And the icing on the cake: Why would the scheming Sith master create 2 armies to fight each other when he could just use both to take over a galactic government that has no standing army? The entire basis of the trilogy is just plain idiotic.

There's tons more, but I wasted enough time talking about this train wreck of a film.