Review of Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) by Landon M — 17 Jun 2015

At one time as a kid, this was my favorite Star Wars movie. Oh how times have changed. Attack of the Clones is the worst Star Wars movie ever made, and hopefully it stays that way. This movie is the very definition of disappointing, because every time you think the movie is getting good, it delves back into mediocrity.

The movie is plagued by worse acting, EXTREMELY WORSE WRITING, and further butchering of the Star Wars backstory. The good thing about this is that it is not the hardest to watch. There are many more entertaining scenes in this than in Phantom Menace.

The problem is that they are either destroyed by terrible acting, or ruined by obvious CGI and greenscreen. Most of the visuals are great, but they are too obvious. The acting, more specifically Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman, is atrocious.

The only good performances are of Ewan McGregor, Frank Oz, Christopher Lee, and a few others. Everyone else is either boring, or unbearable. The writing, especially in the Naboo "romantic" scenes, is so forced and awful that it is impossible to cringe.

The chemistry between Hayden and Natalie is nonexistant and just as "forced" as this trilogy. Many scenes involving Obi-Wan's story was interesting, and the fight between him and Jango Fett is a highlight of the movie.

The interesting stuff, however, is intertwined with the awful Anakin/Padme storyline. The last 45 minutes of the movie picks up in action, yet you never feel like the characters are in danger. The arena scene is cool to watch, yet feels unnecessary.

The final lightsaber fight between Anakin and Dooku is awful, and Yoda's fight is awesome yet stupid. The movie treads on to a point where you get bored even in the action scenes. It is really hard to see how people can defend this movie, and say it's better than Phantom Menace.

This is, in my opinion, the low point of Star Wars. Lets hope Abrams, Johnson, or Trevorrow don't sink any lower. 4/10.