Review of Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) by Steve H — 17 Nov 2009

The first of 10 "Star Trek" films (and 1 remake...so far) finds Capt. Kirk (William Shatner, "Miss Congeniality") coming out of semi-retirement (guess he's had a desk job since the show's storyline) to lead a new Enterprise out into space. He's joined by his old crew including Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Bones (DeForest Kelley), Scotty (James Doohan), and the others, along with bald chick Lt. Ilia (Persis Khambatta) and Cmdr. Decker (Stephen Collins). Kirk shows everyone how much of a dick he is off the bat by demoting Decker from Captain to Commander. Sorry Deck.

The plot follows the team setting out for their maiden voyage when a giant THING starts coming towards Earth. That's right...a THING. It is referred to as the THING for roughly the first half of the film. Thankfully hearing Shatner talk about "Some...THING....is out there" is worth the rental price alone. Before things get underway we get to see two people FRIED in the teleporter while they scream bloody murder. Hell of a way to kick things off.

What follows is hardly the action packed effects-fest seen in the following 9 films and instead of a pretty slow moving film until the finish. The Enterprise heads out, finds the THING, parks there, talks for about 45 minutes, Lt. Ilia is transported off the ship, then on the ship, but now it's not her. Now it's an electrical being...thing...that's taken the form of her body. More talking ensues and eventually we reach it's conclusion. But not before the WORST ACID TRIP EVER SEEN! After seeing this film, it's almost fitting that the Enterprise flew by during a trippy scene in "Heavy Metal" as not even that film could compare to what's seen here. I guess stars and stuff just seemed too boring, so instead we get what I assume would things would look like if you were driving 90 mph past lots of lights while tripping on acid. I'd avoid this film if you are on hallucinogenic drugs as you may shit your pants.

But that kinda offers some of it's appeal. While the following "Trek" films relied heavy on action sequences, here it's all much more thought provoking with suspense and more emphasis on heavy dialogue. It seemed less influenced by "Star Wars" which was released 2 years earlier, and more influenced by Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey" (though not as well done). In fact I'd recommend the film less to "Trek" fans and more to fans of "2001" or in a better example, it's sequel "2010".

The film has many flaws, but in it's defense, it's original premise was for television. Only when "Star Wars" hit it big did this film get pushed theatrical. It's far from the finest "Star Trek" film, a series that's actually pretty good (this coming from someone who's never watched, nor has any interest in any of the 5 live-action "Star Trek" TV shows that have aired), but it has it's merits in other areas. It's not necessarily worse then the rest of the series, but more just...different. And on the bright side, it's still world's better then the film equivalent to shit known as "Star Wars".