Review of Stag Night (2008) by James M — 26 Jul 2011

Imagine you're an idiot who can't find your way out of a paper bag. Now imagine in that paper bag are the combined homicidal offspring of Rob Zombie, the neanderthal's from the Progressive commercials, and a family of inbred chimpanzees. Imagine that for whatever reason, they want nothing more than to feed you to their trusty dogs that live in the one square mile of underground they call home; which, you couldn't find your way out of after 90 minutes of running, screaming and jitterer on crack camera work. That's this movie.

Now imagine that you watched all 90 minutes of it like an even bigger idiot...... that's me -- son of a (@#!(.

I really wanted to like this movie. I very easily could have. It's got my favorite quirk: complete isolation.. with lots of opportunity for scares and suspense as a horror / thriller hybrid. These are opportunities lost though, and there are tons of ways this movie could have been done better, and very few that could have been done worse.

Something as simple as reworking the annoying, grunting and moaning feral humans - which are apparently capable of stealing cable and electricity, but fail at life in every other way - and explaining their motivations with the dogs would go far.

I'd give it one star.. except I really like the whole lost in the subway system angle. It was done better by Creep, and The Midnight Meat Train.. as well as many others.. but they get a bonus for going that route.. plus a halfway decent cast.