Review of Splatter University (1984) by Timothy S — 27 Jun 2012

There were plenty of bad slasher films in the early 1980's that left such a bad taste in the mouth of so many critics who despised the genre, and "Splatter University" was one of the worst. There's virtually nothing here to like, even if you love these films.

The acting is predictably bad, as is the writing and directing. The problem with this film is that it's especially horrible in the areas where it should excel, like the murders and the special effects. They're the only reason to see films like this, and the murders here don't live up to the sensationalistic title. The killer uses a knife to gut or slice many of his victims, and the make-up is not very convincing.

And speaking of the killer, the final reveal here is pretty obvious no matter how hard the film tries to steer you in the wrong direction. If you didn't see it coming, you must be very new to these types of flicks. Everything about this one is exceedingly lazy, from the sparsely decorated sets to the routine characters. The priests are all lustful and full of sin, the men are pigs and the women are all victims simply to be slaughtered. There's not one male victim here, and even the lead actress is killed in what may be the film's only surprise. It's so misogynistic that even the male killer's life is spared.

The "action" allegedly takes place on a college campus, but everything from the setting to the students suggest more of a high school feel. These kids behave like the Sweathogs from "Welcome Back Kotter". Despite what a lot of people think, there is good and bad in every genre of film, and "Splatter University" is one of the worst of its type you're likely to see. There's a threadbare plot, a boring cast and and dull killings. When you can't even get the deaths right, there's a problem somewhere.