Review of Spiders (2013) by M. C — 08 Oct 2014

31 of 31 # 13 SPIDERS - A B-movie that could of been better but its not totally terrible.

So we start with a pretty decent CG intro of the Russian space station, we see some spiders inside the station and suddenly some asteroids hit the space station sending all sorts of pieces to earth....one happens to land on a movie set that looks like New York city in a subway station to be more precise, and wouldn't you know....Jason Cole...our hero...happens to be a transit supervisor....I am fearing Tommy Lee Jones in Volcano all over again. So Jason sends Jimmy our first victim to investigate what happened, Jimmy gets bitten by a spider that somehow survived re-entry and kills Jimmy...who later we find out now has spider eggs inside of him.

The spider now proceeds to attack rats and starts to multiply as these rats have eggs inside them and now we have a gremlins situation.

Jason our hero is divorcing Rachel, a woman with so much Botox on her face she looks like she had a face implant..and they have a kid that will serve no other purpose other than a plot point to keep these two people together for most of the movie.

Blah blah blah blah Russian scientist ( I think ) shows up looking - and has a massive knowledge of these spiders...oohhh the US Army is plotting with this scientist......the spiders were injected with some sort of alien serum they discovered and the spiders were the only species that could handle it...and they want the spider queen because her web can create super bullet proof whatever and whoever controls that has a massive edge on war and the plot now has gone full on B-movie mode.

So the queen is born and she is out for a night on the town New York style, we learn that bullets can't hurt her, rockets from a helicopter can't hurt her, and a direct blast from a tank just barely pushes her back, we have SPIDERZILLA !!!! I gotta admit the scenes with the queen were pretty entertaining and seeing an army of spiders dispatch people had me smiling a bit.

Our Hero Jason of course has to rescue her daughter who is being chased by the queen and him being a transit supervisor....he uses a subway train to push the spider queen into a pipe line and burn her and every single spider out there.

But a small spider survives !!!! sequel...SEQUEL !!!!! whooo whoooo !!!! lol.

This one is not to be taken seriously, the humor comes from your participation making fun of this movie...I don't know if everyone is taking the material seriously as there are no funny moments in the movie, but that allows for countless opportunities to do riffing on this thing, great to watch at a party with a bunch of intoxicated friends.