Review of Speed Racer (2008) by Not-Dave S — 27 Jun 2014

Stylish visuals can't save this AWFUL adaptation of a cool Japanese manga series. I'll give the Wachowski brothers credit that the special effects and visuals are very bright, colorful, over-the-top, and are a good fit for the series.

It is however, completely overkill and oftentimes distracting. And this is coming from someone who is a huge anime fanatic. Literally everything else goes downhill from there. The acting is terrible: In high-speed races and chases, the drivers and/or other characters act like there is ZERO G-force, which makes no sense considering they're traveling at super fast speeds around steep corners.

There isn't an inch of memorable dialogue. 3/4 of the ridiculous 2+ hour runtime is nothing but either boring conversations or mindless hand-to-hand fight scenes which have nothing to do with the main story.

That is, if there even is one to begin with. If there is, then everything could've been solved in half the time and maybe I'd care. The "humor" relies on all of the same cliches and stereotypes as every other kids movie out there.

Overall, this is a huge letdown from the masterminds of the Matrix trilogy.