Review of Spanglish (2004) by Janna G — 03 Nov 2014

So, I use Spanglish every year, in my Communication Theory class, to teach systems theory. Students first watch Ordinary People (1980, Robert Redford, Dir.) -- the spot-on portrayal of a family in the throes of systemic agony, dominated by Mary Tyler Moore's narcissism although not caused by it.

We discuss how Bateson and Watzlawick's understanding of interconnectedness makes blaming and single-person causality useless. Students look at how one-upmanship, one-downsmanship, control of the communicative frame, metacommunication, double binds and homeostasis work, and come to understand equifinality.

Then, they watch and write about Spanglish. While I've read negative reviews of the film, I don't understand the criticisms. The movie is an accurate depiction of a family in which one member, Tea Leoni's character, Deb, controls all interactions with anxiety, through talking, criticizing, interrupting other relationships that are healthy, crying-- whatever it takes.

She blames everyone but herself-- in fact, seems incapable of seeing or taking in how destructive she is. When her own mother, Evelyn, finally apologizes for having been a terrible mother, we see how Deb was created-- and we also see that she's in pain, infinitely insecure, and that she's unlikely to be able to change.

Her daughter, realistically depicted as a smart, funny, likable young woman with a love of cooking and eating that points to her connection with her dad, suffers Deb's self-absorption and manipulations, but we feel she'll be okay if the system can be fixed (or if her father takes a stand and stops allowing Deb to crush her-- Bernie-- with insults veiled as love).

A divorce may be the best thing for everyone. At any rate: the film is profound, and the characters deeply recognizable. Those who criticized James L. Brooks when the film came out somehow failed to see what he created here, claiming that he hates women and that Tea Leoni's role was a testament to misogyny.

Yet, there are many women just like the believable woman Leoni portrays, and many narcissistic mothers, and many husbands and fathers who, wanting to be the nice man, cannot effectively take control of their relationships when necessary, in order to establish symmetry rather than complementarity with their wives.

My students, writing about the film, often glean valuable insights into their own families' dynamics.