Review of Space Buddies (2009) by Sol H — 10 May 2009

A hell of a lot better than the 8th installment of a franchise about a dog playing baseball deserves to be. However, don't get me wrong, it IS mind-numbingly shit.

The dialogue is probably the worst thing about it, but it's really all bad: story, special effects, logic, acting, you name it.

I watched it to laugh at it, and it moreorless did a great job of making me laugh due to how crap it was for a full hour and a half. One of the dogs is called B-Dawg and guess what, he's the hip-hopster character for the black kids to relate to. There's also a token girl who likes pink. The dogs are owned by a handful of the worst child-actors to ever grace this Earth who somehow get to go on a school-trip a surprisingly low-key launch of the world's first commercial space-craft (running a test mission before opening its doors to the public). For some unknown reason, the ship is kitted out to accomadate dogs with specially designed suits and the like and is completely unmanned despite being a test-run for an enterprise based on manned missions.

The dogs then walk aboard the multi-billion dollar rocket without anybody realising at all. They don't even sneak aboard, they just walk on to take a look inside and nobody notices them.

They then dock with a Russian space-station to re-fuel and meet a Russian dogmanaut (the term they use in the film) who wants to go home to his owner, a young boy named Sasha. I don't think I'm spoiling much when I say that at the end of the film, he gets back to Sasha who hasn't aged a day despite the dog going into space for years. We haven't achieved light-speed travel yet, so that makes no sense. Also, what the fuck kind of space-mission lets some random kid's dog take part. If they're going to send an animal into space, then the organisation behind the mission are going to own that animal. That's just obvious.

Anyway, then the dogs end up on the moon where they're spotted by ground-control. The director of the mission's pet ferret who happens to be in the control-room somehow gets onto the communication panel and guides them home without a single human being noticing despite it being a very full room. The dogs are then all lauded as heroes and are given a parade despite them doing nothing but trespass and hazardise a multi-billion dollar operation.

'Hilarious' moments include:

D-Dawg breakdancing with his owner and scratching a record despite it being what appears to be a CD player.

A dog (repeatedly) farting inside his space-suit and inflating it -something which becomes a plot-point later on.

A dog doing the moon-walk on the moon.

One of the dogs telling the dog with the awful Russian accent that he's 'a rad comrad'.

So yeah. If you're with some friends and getting drunk and need a film to take this piss out of, this is perfect. Otherwise, don't bother.

Personal enjoyment normally: 2/10.

Personal enjoyment on a laughing at it for being so crap level: 8/10.

Actual quality as a film: 2/10.