Review of Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie (1996) by Jonah C — 29 Jun 2009

Video game movies are just never cooked spicy enough to enjoy them forever. You have been drowned in gasoline when you see Sonic the Hedgehog on film. You really have...

Little is original. Eggman land is raided, and Sonic and Tails falsely believes in Doctor Robotnik's orders for them to save his land. Of course, Hyper Metal Sonic has to drop in to fight off Sonic. These plot elements will make you say, "oh, yeah" in a rather sarcastic way. On top of that, why does Sonic have to work with Tails and Knuckles? If this is based on the flawless inaugural game in the series, then why must there be teamwork? This is just crap that cannot be answered. It's its own non-original story, but character elements are original. It overpowers your brain cells just by wasting your time thinking about it clearly.

I'm not done. This film should've got a PG-13 rating. Why? Well, I'll explain. This is an uncensored film. Yeah, some censorship is found in the film when there should be done because of one fact...IT'S FREAKEN SONIC!!!!! You'd never expect Sonic to be a crude character. This film just gives him a bad character, and makes him a complete joke! If you disagree, let me explain: In the film, Sonic taunts Robotnik by giving him the finger. The character Sara calls Metal Sonic a "pervert", when he and Sonic crash into Eggman's ship and he crashes through the bottom and accidentally looks up her dress. Sonic, who basically sees, feels and thinks everything Metal Sonic does, has an adverse effect on this event. Tails accidentally grabs Sara's breasts (Knuckles says, "I never thought you'd stoop that low!"). In a daydream when Robotnik proposes to marry Sara, she is shown pregnant and breastfeeding one of Robotnik's babies. And lastly, Knuckles yells in one scene, "Shit!" This film is just terrible, I can't believe I watched this!

This film is just crap, complete crap. I cannot stress that enough. It wastes your time more than that horrendous Super Mario Bros. film.