Review of Snowpiercer (2013) by Stacey S — 25 Feb 2015

This movie was absolutely terrible. I have no idea how it got such good reviews, honestly. It had such promise, and then I was completely let down. I'm not even sure where to start...

How about the extremely long, bloody, death-filled action scenes? Why were they 30 minutes longer than necessary.

How about where is the history of the train? Who made it?

Why are there such extreme and separate classes on the train when in the modern world, the class system had not been that way for almost a century?

Major holes in the story, jumping around, only finding out important facts half-way through the movie.

I don't think it would have been so awful if there was some decent editing of the story. There were so many opportunities to show history, fact, moments leading up to life on this train, yet none were taken.

And machine guns in an egg basket? Really? Machine guns, in the school-house train car... Really? Now? In 2014? With all the terrible school shootings that have happened? Absolutely terrible taste.

And how about yellow coat lady who takes the children in the beginning... Why does she taste her own blood? Is this some sort of vampire undertone? Are they going to drink the blood of the children? Are the children sacrifices to the head train man? Like what the actual hell does that mean?

Seriously, who did you pay to get good ratings?

If you choose to watch this movie with you SO, you may lose your movie-choosing rights for a month like I did.

Thanks, snowpiercer, for taking 2 hours of my life for a garbage flick.