Review of Smurfs: The Lost Village (2017) by Ceb1031 — 27 Jun 2017

If you go with your family to see “Smurfs: The Lost Village” (and let’s be honest: most of today’s animated features are more than suitable for adults only, but anyone who would go to this movie without children is seriously starved for entertainment), you’ll get to experience the trailer for “The Emoji Movie,” an upcoming feature from the same studio, Sony Pictures Animation. The trailer is hosted by an emoji named Meh, voiced in the morose observational tones of comedian Steven Wright; in just 30 seconds, he makes not being overly enthusiastic about anything seem the apex of hilarity. I won’t prejudge the film, but it’s a stupendous trailer.

Then we get to the Smurfs movie, which has a hundred characters who are Smurfs, and not one of them is as funny, or wry, or distinctive as Meh. You might describe the Smurfs as blueberry Hobbits crossed with knockoffs of the Seven Dwarfs — or, more precisely, of Dopey, since they mirror his innocent leer of a grin, open-car-door ears, and hat that’s like a folded-over blob of Poppin’ Fresh dough. (I do realize that the Smurfs were created in Belgium in 1958, and that their headwear was meant to evoke the Phrygian cap, which signifies freedom. But they still look like Dopey.) As with the Dwarfs, the Smurfs have names that describe just what they are: in this case, Jokey, Nerdy, Grouchy, Brainy, Clumsy, Nosy, Hefty, Winner, Loser, Painter, Scuba, Paranoid, Therapist (“Sometimes,” says a patient, “I just feel blue!”), and Table-Eater. Unlike the Seven Dwarfs, the Smurfs, even with their Defining Traits, seem to have more or less interchangeable personalities. They’re one-note elfin mascots of cute who are all, in essence, variations on the same product.

Last November, when “Trolls” came out, a number of critics described it as being sort of like a Smurfs movie. Well, it kind of was — but if so, it was the “Citizen Kane” of Smurf movies, a kaleidoscopic disco fantasia with marvelously individualized troll-doll characters. (I’ve seen it three times and could easily watch it again.) “Smurfs: The Lost Village,” by contrast, is a sweetly benign fantasy for three-to-seven-year-olds, and though one should show no hesitation in calling it innocuous, because it is, I do realize that’s all part of the design. It’s not a rousing animated comedy that parents will cherish along with their kids. It’s more like a colorful and diverting pacifier.