Review of Small Soldiers (1998) by Gareth R — 20 Nov 2010

Toy Story asks a fairly simple question: What if toys were alive? Small Soldiers does the same, but takes it a bit literally, and in a whole different direction. They're completely different movies, but it's interesting seeing an idea taken two totally different ways.

In Small Soldiers, a couple of toy designers (one money-hungry, one idealistic) create the Commando Elite and the Gorgonites: respectively, an army unit and their harmless, odd-looking enemies. But in an effort to create toys that "actually do what they do in the commercial", these toys come with military microchips. They can walk, talk and think, and they're in the mood for war.

The Commando Elite are cunning, single-minded and potentially lethal. The poor old Gorgonites are programmed to hide, and eventually, lose. A troubled kid charged with looking after his dad's toystore gets his hands on a set of the toys, and thinks he can make some money for a change - little realising the toy carnage that will ensue. He makes friends with Archer (Frank Langella), leader of the Gorgonites, and attempts to keep them from getting slaughtered by Chip Hazard (Tommy Lee Jones) and the rest of the Commando Elite.

On the surface, this is a fairly exciting action movie for kids, with the Commandoes using all sorts of household appliances as weapons and (in one of the film's more memorable scenes) an army of dolls as reinforcements. The Gorgonites are a fun bunch, if rather mopey, and the dialogue contains plenty of silly, funny lines.

But underneath all that, and fairly obvious to anyone older than, let's say 16, is a surprisingly frank satire of war, and war movies. Here we have soldiers as villains, mass-produced and identical. They're pre-programmed to hate their enemies for no good reason. The Gorgonites are made of the same stuff they are - literally, metal and circuits - and they're able to embrace their newfound intelligence, becoming at least partially aware that they're just toys, while the Commandoes are so blinded by indoctrination that they never reach that level of smarts. Chip Hazard likes the rouse the troops with a lot of meaningless warmongering gobbledegook, taken from dozens of famous speeches and lines, and he has no problem at all with harming innocent bystanders.

All of that's quite dark, even subversive. And this is a kids' film! Clearly, there's more going on than you at first suspect.

None of which really makes up for the characters, who are generally quite flat. The movie opens with the two guys responsible for the toys, and not with the main character. It's a simple misstep, and arguably a necessary one to set up what these toys are and how they work, but it means we never really click with the main cast. Alan (Gregory Smith) is a rather unengaging lead, anyway; better is Christy (Kirsten Dunst), his feisty would-be girlfriend. Phil Hartman is great fun as an obnoxious neighbour (this would be his final film role). The highlights are the voice actors who bring the toys to life. Tommy Lee Jones relishes the role of the narrow-minded army leader, and it's great fun having war movie alumni such as Ernest Borgnine and George Kennedy on hand as well. Also excellent - if unrecognisable - are the members of Spinal Tap, who do the voices of the Gorgonites. I literally had no idea it was them, but they do a great job anyway. Jay Mohr and David Cross admittedly get many of the best lines as the toy designers, and you end up wishing they were in the movie more.

The special effects are excellent, a mixture of Stan Winston miniatures and CGI, which is always made a little easier to digest when the characters are robotic, and don't have to emote too much. Jerry Goldsmith's music is hummable, if a little standard in places.

Small Soldiers has been compared to Gremlins. They share a few similar plot points, such as the moment where Chip summons re-inforcements from a local toy store, and there's no doubt that Joe Dante used his experience on that classic monster comedy to help craft the chaos here. But Small Soldiers isn't quite as funny, or fun, even though it's aimed at a younger audience. It's a bit of a mixed bag, with enough jokes and thrills to entertain perfectly well for ninety-or-so minutes, and a clever subtext for the grown-ups, but not much to get your teeth into besides that, either in terms of character or, just generally, the story. It's smart, but there's not a lot of heart.