Review of Slender Man (2018) by Mitchell H — 11 Aug 2018

It's a reiteration of the vast majority of recent horror movies. Cringe-worthy "relatable" teens make poor decisions to further the story of an otherwise plotless movie. This steaming pile of poop is an uninspired cash-grab simply taking advantage of a household name to lure in viewers (seven years too late).

If ten people see this movie, it will probably surpass the budget and make the producers a profit. Utilizing a cast of future porn stars and prior homeless people (because who else would star in it), Slender Man is sure to make slender earnings in the box office.