Review of Skyfall (2012) by Calhounite — 15 Nov 2013

Wow. So they took my script after all. Only it wasn't a 007 movie. It was a 777 movie. The guy's name is Bomb not Bond. Bomb can't shoot. If he were on a lifeboat and aimed a flair at the sky he'd put a hole right smack dab in the middle of his boat. Chronic boozer, doper, and complainer. Only assigned minor missions like if some disgruntled ex-employee leaked some names, then that would go to Bomb. Nothing world-threatening. That's reserved for the doulbe 0's like Bond. Goes around with a grim look on his face like if he were about to be cremated or spliced in half, that's something to be concerned about. Actually thinks HE'S more important than his mission, and takes an unauthorized vacation to pout about it after finding out he's not.

A mistake hire. When given the choice between going to prison for being a combination peeping tom raincoat exposer or joining the service, took the service. Reason he got the option was a former foster kid of the Bosslady's just like the ex-employee he was chasing.

Changed the ending tho. After finding out he got the Bosslady killed my script had both his Volks and his ars parked on the grars. And a policy change NO MORE HIRING RELATIVES.

This is not a Bond.

This is a Bomb.