Review of Skyfall (2012) by James B — 05 Nov 2015

Skyfall is the worst movie in the history of movie making. Either the ratings are bought or every evil person on the planet got together to see James Bond get his ass kicked. Bond loses at every turn. He is pathetically weak after M had him killed.

He was on top of a train fighting the villain. M ordered an unqualified agent to take the shot from over a mile away to kill the bad guy because they were searching for information. When you are searching for something you aren't supposed to kill anyone but this is the dumbest M in the history of the series.

Bond gets shot and falls too far into a river to possibly survive. No one is around to pull him out or help him and Bond ends up stuck in the mud. His being stuck in the mud is a theme though out the movie.

After he comes back he it turns out that he is in fact dead. Not dead in a cool way like a zombie but dead in the sense that he is too stupid and weak to do anything useful like be an agent. They test him of course and fails every test.

It is clear that Mr. Bean could kick his ass. Everyone at the agency said it would be better if he stayed dead and they were right. Of course M in her unending stupidity puts him on case against the latest bad guy.

Earlier they put a bad guy in prison but he escapes because they never searched him, a new directive by M no doubt. The bad guy sends a virus into M's computer and instead of turning it off she follows its instructions and blows up headquarters.

Neither Bond nor his agency could protect their headquarters, Parliament, or Bond's family home. The movie ends up with M killing herself out of embarrassment, Bond crawling around in the mud begging for mercy and the villain allowing himself to be killed because he could not achieve his life goal of defeating the real James Bond because Bond had already died.