Review of Sing Street (2016) by Rvwfromuphere — 08 Jun 2016

So the movie starts in Ireland with the main character, Conor, playing guitar in his room while his parents argue in the background. Then his parents call a family meeting and they tell Conor and his two siblings they are cutting back on spending money and as a result Conor will go to private school; which in America would be more expensive.

Anyway, Conor goes to private school and the priest/principal is like a huge d***. Later that day Conor watches MTV with his brother and it is revealed they share a bond over music. His brother explains to Conor how revolutionary Duran Duran is, and at that point you know what you've signed up for in the movie department.

Conor meets a short redhead kid who is nearly impossible to understand, and he introduces Conor to a singer songwriter named Eamon who wants to start a band. They form a Lennon/McCartney bond faster than any musicians in the history of music and start a band with three other people who contribute very little to the movie.

That's when Conor meets a beautiful young girl named Raphina whom he wants to impress and sweep off her feet. He tells Raphina he's in a band and he's looking for a girl to be in a music video their shooting.

She tells him she doesn't like boys, or some cryptic bulls*** that a 16 year old girl would say to get attention. She says she'll be in his music video if she "has time." You've got time you attention grubbing teen.

Then Conor and Eamon write an amazing first song called The Riddle of the Model. Like if this was the first song I had ever written I would be so goddamn excited. He brings over a cassette tape to Raphina and she enjoys the song so much she agrees to be in his music video.

After they shoot the video Raphina reveals she has a boyfriend, but she still wants Conor to give her a lot of attention so she agrees to be in more of his videos. Conor is convinced if he writes a good enough song, Raphina will be his forever.

He then continues to write unbelievably great songs for an angsty 15-year-old Irish boy, but Raphina continues to show little desire to be with him. Then in school he is confronted by the priest/principle about his angsty behavior, and he is told to wash the makeup off of his face.

Conor refuses, and the priest grabs him and takes him into the bathroom, and there is a brief moment where you totally think he is going to sexually assault Conor, but he only nearly drowns him in the sink.

Conor leaves school upset, but Raphina is outside waiting for him to acknowledge her, then as if she couldn't get any more annoying she starts calling him "Cosmo" for no reason. Conor writes his best song yet and invites Raphina to shoot the music video, she says she'll be there.

The day comes and surprise, surprise Raphina bails. Where did she go? She moved to London with her boyfriend so she could try to be a model. Conor is completely broken up by this. In addition to Raphina abandoning him, his parents have decided to get divorced because his mother has been cheating on his father.

Time goes by and he has not only written more songs for his band, but successfully landed a gig to play prom. Right before they play prom Conor walks by Raphina's house, only to find she is still living there.

London did not work out for her, and her loser boyfriend shockingly abandoned her. Conor gives her one last tape and storms off. Raphina listens to the tape, has a moody walk through the park, and "realizes" Conor is the one for her.

Conor nails his gig with his band, and Raphina shows up right at the end. Conor has decided to sail away to London with Raphina and abandon his band after writing half of what could be a number 1 album.

He hugs them goodbye, runs through the streets with Raphina, then gets home and asks his brother to drive them to the pier. His brother agrees, and Conor goes into his parents' room to steal his father's boat keys.

He grabs the keys, looks at his father sleeping on the floor while his harlot mother takes the entire bed. He then says "I love you Mom," and walks out the door. "Thanks for breaking up the family homewrecker, I love you.

And I won't even say goodbye to Dad at all, I'll just steal his boat keys and flip him two fingers while I shout 'deuces'." The movie ends with Conor and Raphina sailing off into the ocean, assuming they will make it to Wales on however little gas they have, literally shoving the 'coming of age' genre down our throats in one foul swoop.

Before the credits role, the screen says, "Dedicated to Brothers Everywhere." HOW WAS THIS MOVIE ABOUT BROTHERS?! If that was the case they definitely could focused more on his brother than the young, naive romance and the band that was destined to play no more than Prom.

Fortunately for us, the Sing Street soundtrack will be available long after we get over our frustrations with the film.