Review of Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2003) by Elephant S — 03 Aug 2004

[b]Matchstick Men (Scott, 2003): C+.[/b].

Too much Cage, not enough coolness. Or quality. The father-daughter con racket is still best served up by the flawless Paper Moon. This was a movie that guessing the ending within the first fifteen minutes from the way too obvious clues actually does hurt the entire film. I'm, therefore, either wicked smaht, or, hmmm, nope, no or.

[b]Tomie: Replay (Mitsuishi, 2000): F.[/b].

Okay, I'll admit it, I did cringe in fear once. When that girl, whats-her-face, flips through her dad's journal really fast, I thought she'd get a paper cut. Sadly, even that didn't happen.

[b]Working Girl (Nichols, 1988): A.[/b].

I've seen this one a bunch of times, and it only gets better. Nichols is, like, this insanely talented director whose mastery of cinematic subtext and social satire is second to none. Melanie Griffith in her pre-collagen days had enough talent to carry a picture, Harrison Ford had abs before abs were Brad Pitt-ed into fashion, and Joan Cusack's makeup and hair should have also been nominated for best supporting actor at the Oscars that year. Whatta picture.

[b]Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (Gilmore and Johnson, 2003): B-.[/b].

Um, er, erm. Did anyone else notice that the *cough* climax of the movie occurs when Sinbad's "ship" jumps headlong into the big, ripe, cosmic... vagina? Yeah, I didn't either.