Review of Show Dogs (2018) by Logan M — 25 Aug 2018

Good Lord. So this is about a Rottweiler police dog named Max (Ludacris). He is (somehow) used to working alone, and he most definitely doesn't want to team up with an FBI agent (Will Arnett). But when a baby panda gets.

.. pandanapped, they have no choice but to infiltrate a dog show, and I don't know why I am bothering explaining the plot to this, because it doesn't matter. Now this is a movie that actually has an infamous reputation.

It's a talking dog family movie that managed to get pulled from theaters for being overly inappropriate. I've never even heard of something like that before, so that got my attention. (Un)fortunately, I was unable to see the non-edited version, but I read about the scenes, which I will not go into details about here.

I surely don't know what they were thinking, but even with those scenes removed, this is still a surreally weird film. This is just a movie that nobody walks away from unscathed. I honestly feel bad for Will Arnett, because I know from experience that he is more talented than the things that he is made to do here.

It's just low brow material, and there is no way around that. Even with the most offensive material axed, there are still jokes that take this to weird places. For example, there is still a scene with a dog being bikini waxed, and there are jokes about inbreeding.

.. and this is supposed to be a kid's movie? If I happened to be a father and I let my child watch this, I would probably have to field a lot of unexpected questions afterwards. Even when it isn't making off-kilter and inappropriate gags, it is still abnormal.

I looked away from this for maybe 20 seconds tops, and when I looked back, there were dogs unexpectedly ziplining across the Las Vegas skyline. I thought I had accidentally hit next scene on the remote, but no, it is just that kind of movie.

Show Dogs would have been outdated if it was released in 1995, and I have no idea who this movie was made for. There are a lot of unsubtle references if you recognize the voices; Ludacris uses the word Ludicrous very early on, and then there is Shaq quoting Aristotle.

I guess that's there to be a nudge for the adults, but I would be very surprised if anybody over the age of 12 is paying more attention to this over their smart phone. Even though this didn't make me angry, I can't think of a single good thing to say about this.