Review of Sherlock Gnomes (2018) by Barry F — 24 Mar 2018

Is Gnomeo and Juliet Sherlock Gnomes the worst movie ever made? No. Is the Gnomeo and Juliet Sherlock Gnomes the best movie ever made? Yes. The new installment to the best film franchise has little to no flaws and should be seen by everyone. It is truly an amazing blockbuster film that should be Oscar nominated and Oscar winning. Sherlock Gnomes is a cinematic masterpiece. You need a IQ over 200 to comprehend the genius of this movie. Now critics have been rating this film down, but those are just haters that deserve to be dabbed on to the fullest extent. They are just a bunch of Gnomist! We must stop this gnome racism!! I will stand for a 10/10 movie with no flaws get slaughtered by this Gnome inequality!!!

#Gnomelivesmatter #Gomeequality.

Now the genius of a director, John Stevenson, provides an amazing original story about love, importance of partnership, and the current state of racism in our political news. The surprising plot twist are amazingly surprising and leaves at the edge of your seat the whole movie. And if you are wondering, yes there is at least one dab. Watching that for the first will definitely not make question your life choices and leave you asking yourself, "What terrible life choices have I committed in my life to be here," yeah you won't feel like that. But remember as amazing as this movie is there is one flaw. In the ended the Characters don't fuck. Yes, yet again you will be left with the feeling of what jacksfilms left when he finished watching the emoji movie and I quote "Blue Balls." Now I think an appropriate ending to this film would have an ending similar to that of sausage party's. But if you are like me, or any normal person, you had your hand in your pants under your underwear, waiting for that perfect moment to ejaculate, and it never came. You will either have to wait until you get home to finish, or you could do what I did which is finish in the bathroom while the images of the movie are still fresh in your head, because if there is one word I could describe Juliet is THICCC, with 3 c's. That is why you will be left with blue balls. The characters got that junk in the trunk, if you know what I mean hehehe (even the frog). Another complaint, there is no twerking. I mean you give the character that back and you don't even make'em shake'em. But those are just minor flaws that don't really effect the film that much. Another thing that is amazing about the film is the side plot about Benny wanting to bang the frog. It is amazing little love story that I would want to see the abominations that they would call their children. The character development is also an aspect that is handled perfectly. Sherlock Gnomes and Juliet go from being assholes to not assholes. The dialogue is also superb. From the jokes to the serious moments, you will find that the dialogue will always be the most perfect thing to say in that situation. And I will go into a spoiler for a couple of these sentences so I will just say, if you have not watched this masterpiece of a film just skip over this because this film is a must watch. So anyway, there is a tragic and heartbreaking death that will definitely make you cry is you are a decent human being. If you do not cry at this scene you are a soulless and heartless human being that does not cry at all and I want nothing to do with you (asshole) not you only the people that do not cry at this scene. Which will be no one I assure you. Yes Sherlock Gnome's very own assistant Watson does break and it is the saddest moment in film history. This scene is so well done and emotional, because the director and writer does and amazing job at making love and feel for these characters. I know that when I experience this very #emotional scene I was heartbroken and just sobbing. I was crying out loud, could not believe it. That is the only spoiler in this review, I'm sorry I had to spoil that it is just the most emotional experience you will ever get to see.

In summary, Sherlock Gnomes is the finest piece of cinema I have seen since Gnomeo & Juliet. It rivals and manages to beat all of Shakespeare's work (including the very play the characters are inspired by "The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet). It is the definition of what a cinematic masterpiece is and what films should aspire to be.