Review of Sheena (1984) by Janne S — 17 Aug 2011

Deranged jungle film finds a young girl left abandoned after her parents are apparently killed in a cave collapse. She is adopted by Shaman, a jungle woman who likes a black version of Faye Dunnaway for some reason, and she begins to learn the life of the jungle while being surrounded by relatively calm, exotic animals. Then one day, she grows up, and invaders from the outside world arrive and she tries to protect her civilization.

So many questions are asked after watching this film, which include: why does that zebra look so bizarre and go "naah"? Or why does Sharman not age for twenty years (not even plastic surgery, if there is any in the jungle, could save her from wrinkles)? Or why does no one go out and search for Sheena and her missing parents at the beginning of the film? Or why does the background African images resemble the Great Salt Flats of Utah? Or why does that helicopter being attacked by the flamingoes resemble the scenes from Hitchcock's "The Birds"? Or why does everything explode in a ball of fury? Or what happened to the scripwriters of this film? Or why does this film have a rating of PG (Parental Guidance) when you see explosive Tanya Roberts nudity? So many questions, none of them can answered in this contrived, incoherent empty-headed joke! In her 1984 review, New York Times critic Janet Maslin said "'Sheena' is the perfect summer movie for anyone who's dissatisfied with the season's intentional comedies..." Considering it is 27 years later and there are not many good comedies this summer, it could work!