Review of Shark Night 3D (2011) by Myffubs — 25 Aug 2012

It shouldn't come as much of a surprise that Shark Night 3D is awful. Its theatrical release is due entirely to the success of Piranha 3D, but it lacks Piranha's bite; sure, that movie was a nasty, semi-soft-core misogynist piece of trash, but at least it delivered on its promise of decidedly R-rated nudity and gore.

Shark Night offers neither, instead throwing in an even more preposterous plot, even blander actors playing duller characters, and teases where Piranha came through. There's also overuse of MTV-style editing to let viewers know the characters are having fun, because anyone watching certainly won't be enjoying themselves.

Put David R. Ellis at the helm and what you've got is a recipe for disaster. The ineptitude is clear from the opening sequence, which rips off of the opening sequence in Jaws. The attack is unclear and fairly unconvincing; where the effect of pulling someone through the water to simulate a shark attack was new in '75, here it feels obviously dated and, well, boring.

The subsequent attacks are similarly handled, with characters simply being dragged underwater and no clear details, though some sequences feature horrible special effects and laughably unrealistic shark behavior.

The plot comes second to the shark attacks, yet takes up most of the film's running time. College students venture to a lake house for Spring Break, only to find the waters fairly shark-infested. Might this have anything to do with the creepy, foreboding locals? Too much time is spent getting from one place to another, especially when a thinking audience can figure that most escape attempts won't play in favor of the college-aged shark bait.

The 3D is hardly used, and when it is, the effect is hampered by the inability to properly frame the action. In the end, Shark Night 3D is a waste of your time and money. If you're really in the mood for a shark flick, you're much better off waiting for SyFy to have a Terror-in-the-Water weekend.