Review of Sex Tape (2014) by Kimberley T — 17 Mar 2015

There are comedies that work well, mixing well written humor with great stories and great characters. Then there is complete insane nonsensical garbage. This Bad Movie Friday, we will be looking at a film that is utterly abhorrent and stupid. This is a film I would otherwise never watch, however, this is what I do. I review horrible movies each Friday. "Sex Tape" is directed by Jake Kasdan. The cast includes Jason Segal, Cameron Diaz, Rob Lowe, Ellie Kemper, and Rob Corddry.

Annie (Diaz) and Jay (Segal) are a couple who've lost their spark. When they first met they always had sex. They were constantly in bathrooms, libraries, and in cars having sex. Now that they have children and are older, the couple have grown apart in their marriage and in their sex life. One day the brilliant wife thinks to herself, hey, lets make a sex tape. She runs it by Jay, who thinks it's a great idea. So, the film it on their iPad. After three hours, they finally stop and go to bed. The next day the couple host a birthday party for their son. At the conclusion of the party, each parent-or anyone Jay thought he should give it to-got a free used iPad. Unfortunately for Jay and his wife, he forgot to delete the video. The result is; a bunch of relatives, family members, and strangers now have an iPad with their sex tape synced to it over the Cloud. So, they have to get all the iPad's back.

I want to keep this review as professional as possible. The cast assembled here are obviously D grade actors. Jason Segal has been known to make some funny stuff. He's a generally funny guy who's been in a few funny films. In this film, he is absolutely terrible. He is so bad that he makes Cameron Diaz look like a decent actress. Diaz is also very bad in this movie. Her performance is utterly embarrassing. Segal is basically a complete idiot, and Diaz is also just a big idiot in this film. Rob Lowe is a pretty good comedian. Most know him from the Parks and Recreation television show. He gives an incredibly annoying performance. Even Ellie Kemper is wasted here. Frankly, one quick look at the cast should tell you all you need to know about this film.

The director of this film is horrible. I won't go into detail because he isn't even worth talking about. As far as the script goes, it's a mess. Every single line of dialogue is worthless and cringe worthy. Every single character is an annoyingly charismatic cartoon. There is a moment in the film where Cameron Diaz's character does cocaine. She acts no differently when supposedly "high" than when she isn't high. All the characters seem like they are all high on drugs throughout the entire film. Everyone is over the top, and no one acts like a human being. The things that are said and the choices that are made are in no way the normal way a human being would act. Most people-if they made a tape like this-would not hand out iPads that were linked with the same device. I don't care about the music playlist. A normal human being would either delete the video, or wipe all the iPads to factory settings. There would be no "forgetting" either. No normal parent-especially parents who are supposedly intelligent-would take their child to a porn companies building.

Aside from the terrible characters, the film has many other issues. Nothing makes sense. The things that happen in the movie are so random and chaotic. It should also be mentioned that animals are heavily abused. Jason Segal hits a dog in the head with a book. He later causes the dog to be thrown against a wall, and when the dog is left unconscious, he asks Siri to tell him "how to preform CPR on a dog".

Almost 90% of the comedy here is awful. Aside from a few brief laughs, nothing is funny. "No one understands the Cloud" cannot make up for all the terrible god awful jokes throughout the film. All the jokes are so juvenile. There are stupid sex puns, poop jokes, and jokes about drugs. The main bad "bad guy"-if you want to call him that-is a twelve-year-old boy. I wanted to tear my hair out the entire time! Films like this should not exist. There is no excuse for it! I can't stress this enough; do not watch this film! You will finish with zero brain cells left in your head. The only redeeming quality of this movie was when Jack Black showed up at the end as the owner of the porn company.

"Sex Tape" presents an interesting concept. A husband and wife are struggling with their sex life and their marriage. This could be comedy gold! This could work well in any movie, not just a comedy. But no; instead it's stupid, nonsensical, chaotic, nauseating, unfunny, poorly acted, and boring. The characters are not human beings, the dialogue is detestable, and everything about this movie is bad. I hate this movie.