Review of Sex Story: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) by Patrick L — 19 Aug 2015

"Fifty Shades of dull sex and wooden acting".

Movie Review: Fifty Shades of Grey.

Date Viewed: February 18 2015.

Directed By Sam Taylor-Johnson (Nowhere Boy).

Screenplay By Kelly Marcel, Based on the novel by E.L. James.

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, Eloise Mumford, Luke Grimes,.

Victor Rasuk, Callum Keith Rennie, Rita Ora,.

Max Martini, Andrew Airlie, Dylan Neal and Marcia Gay Harden.

Mr. Grey won't see you right now, he needs to find an acting coach and a better script than this dull and lifeless adaptation of "Fifty Shades of Grey". How can you have erotic sex in a movie and make it boring? Who knew that Christian Grey was as grey and stone-faced as Dolph Lundgren. You can tell from his eye-expressions that Jamie Dornan was uncomfortable in the role. "Fifty Shades of Grey" is like the 1986 movie "9 1/2 Weeks" but with bigger buzz, dull sex and wooden acting.

Dakota Johnson (the daughter of actors Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith) stars as Anastasia Steele, the 21-year-old literature student from Washington State University who gets the big interview with wealthy entrepreneur Christian Grey (Dornan). Ana's roommate, Kate Kavanagh (Eloise Mumford) was originally going to interview Mr. Grey but she became ill so Ana took her place. Christian is interested in her so he follows her to the hardware store where she works. Soon, they begin a relationship that will be dull and boring and they will have hot passionate sex. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, even the sex scenes are boring.

After all the bondage and sex games, it turns out that Christian's rules are, do not engage in love with him or even touch him in bed. If you break one of Christian's rules you will be punished. Christian Grey has the brain capacity of a silver spoon, this guy doesn't care about love at all. Christian's rules soon begin to take a toll on Ana who (SPOILER ALERT!) leaves him and his amazing lifestyle at the end. Director Sam Taylor-Johnson (who is the wife of "Kick-Ass" actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is capable of making this movie, "Fifty Shades of Grey" has a nice setting and she has a good actress in Dakota Johnson but her character is badly written.

I would've cared about this movie if it had smart writing and characters we like to know and care about but "Fifty Shades of Grey", based on E.L. James' worldwide bestseller is not that movie. The cast also includes Jennifer Ehle ("Zero Dark Thirty") as Ana's mother, Max Martini ("Captain Phillips") as Christian's limo driver, Luke Grimes ("American Sniper") as Christian's adopted brother and Oscar Winner Marcia Gay Harden as Christian's mother. Charlie Hunnam was originally the first choice to play Christian Grey but he dropped out of the film to do the last seasons of "Sons of Anarchy" so now we're stuck with this fashion model.

I'm sure Universal plans on doing the two sequels to "Fifty Shades" so get ready for more endless love and bondage because we have another Hollywood franchise to deal with.