Review of Sex Drive (2008) by Chads. — 22 Oct 2008

In Todd Phillips' "Road Trip", the filmmaker pays homage to his own bout with puberty when Amy Smart frees her boobs, just like how Phoebe Cates frees her boobs in Amy Heckerling's "Fast Times at Ridgemont High".

Everybody remembers what Cates wore, a two-piece red bikini, now: Think fast! What was Smart wearing before she pulled it over her head? That's why Phillips failed. Nobody remembers Smart's spaghetti strap.

Memorable clothing, not just memorable boobs, is the reason why Cates' poolside scene has its own wing in the Perv-Hall-of-Fame. Linda Barrett was a bad girl. She showed Stacey Hamilton(Jennifer Jason-Leigh) how to fellate a carrot in the Ridgemont High cafeteria.

Felicia(Amanda Crew) is a good girl. In "Sex Drive", she drives Ian(Josh Zuckerman) crazy by being in love with Lance(Clark Duke), just like another good girl, Maggie(Kerri Green), who chooses Cappie(Charlie Sheen) over Lucas(Corey Haim) in David Seltzer's "Lucas", the 1986 film that quietly informs this "American Pie" retread", redeemed and given transcendence by a sweet performance by Crew, whose Felicia is soft like Green's cheerleader, the high school girlfriend you always wished for(when you weren't busy wishing for boobs).

After "Lucas", the auburn-haired beauty starred in Bill L. Norton's "Three for the Road", and wouldn't you just know it, our three heroes are three for the road. "Sex Drive" has two inspired bits: an ornery Amish man(Seth GREEN), and a donut costume.

Read the donut, read Ian as a talking p****. In the short form music video for "That's Good"(directed by Gerald Casale), an animated French fry screws an animated donut hole. After the climactic scene in the parking lot, the donut costume becomes prosaic; Ian's masculine performance transforms his emasculating mall get-up, back into a mere donut costume.

Now when he talks, it's his own voice, and not contracting vaginal muscles.